Page 15 of Cowboy Falling Hard

Chapter 5

Patience and the ability to listen. Never give up. Pray a lot. - Cindy Mt Olive, MS

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“IWOULDN’T WANT YOUto be anything else. And you don’t have to worry about whether or not your words will hurt my feelings. I found in baseball that I can’t improve unless I know what I’m doing wrong. I assume this—life—is the same way.” Dwight was as honest as he could be.

“I missed that humble heart when we spoke earlier, because of my bias against you. You aren’t from Sweet Water, would take one of the ladies I love here away. I didn’t allow myself to look beyond the surface things I didn’t want and look instead at your character and your heart and the things that matter. That’s why I needed to apologize.”

He grunted, because she’d already apologized, and he wanted to know not what was best with him but what he needed to improve. Whatever was good or okay didn’t need to be fixed.

“I think you’re trying too hard,” Charlene said after a small pause.

What? He was trying too hard?

“What do you mean?” he finally sputtered out.

“I think your concern and your focus isyou. How you come off, how she sees you, what she sees when she looks at you, and you’re making sure that everything that you present to her is perfect. You want the attention, you want the accolades, you want her to see that.”

“Yeah. I wanted her to see that she’s getting something valuable when she gets me. That she’s not getting some chump that’s never done anything with his life.”

He didn’t necessarily mean that in a bad way. Like people who weren’t All-Star baseball players were chumps, just that he’d worked hard and accomplished things, and he wanted his accomplishments to be front and center.

“I don’t think you realize you’re coming across as arrogant. Possibly a know-it-all. Definitely a show-off. And maybe a braggart. I’m not calling you those names, because I don’t think that’s who you are, but I do think that might be how you’re coming across.” Charlene’s voice had risen in the middle of her little speech, but then it softened, and she said the last line gently, with care and concern in her tone.

Dwight sat there, stunned. Had he really been coming across that way?

He dug back through his mind, memories, things he said, the way he’d monopolize the conversation. He thought she was listening and enchanted. Had he been wrong?

“I’m not saying she’s not interested in you,” Charlene said as though she could read his mind. “And knowing Orchid as I do, she doesn’t talk a whole lot. She does a lot of thinking. And that’s fine. She probably appreciates you talking. But...there is a fine line.”

“How could I find that line? What can I do to fix it? Fix myself?” There were probably books on the subject. But books could be so generic. He had a batting coach to help him with his specific problems. He could get the basics from a book, but once he got to a high level, he needed individual attention. Dating wasn’t quite the same, but he wanted the same results. Perfection. As close to it as he could get.

“How many times did you ask her about herself?”

“A couple,” he said automatically, and then he thought about it. Had he asked her how she was? If he had, he probably hadn’t listened, truly listened, to her answer, his mind already whirling about what he was going to say about himself. What she was going to think about his answers, trying to be funny and cute and interesting and intelligent.

“I think a lot of times when we want to impress someone, we’re always thinking about how we sound. Making ourselves sound smart. Intelligent and wise, so we can impress them. I think we spend a lot of time thinking aboutme. And there’s nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself. I think that’s part of the reason that you’re going to be successful. Because you’re interested in getting better. But when you’re with someone else, your focus should be them. Especially, and in particular, a date. It shouldn’t be about what did she think about you, it should be about making her feel valued and interesting and cherished.”

“I opened the door for her. I could tell she liked that.”

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