Page 16 of Cowboy Falling Hard

“Yes. And I’m guessing you didn’t do it to show off or to score brownie points, but you did it to show honor and respect to her.”

“I guess. I didn’t really think about it. I just did it, and it made her smile, so I did it again.”

“And that’s exactly what you need to do. Notice her reactions. See what she likes. I don’t think you should change yourself to be what she likes, but you can change what you do, as long as you’re not changing the person you are. If that makes sense.”

“Yeah. I think I see.”

“Did you ask her where she wanted to go?” Charlene’s voice was matter-of-fact, like she was a police officer getting info for an investigation.

Dwight hesitated. “No. Seems like when I ask that question, it’s always answered with ‘I don’t care,’ and whoever I’m with expects me to read their mind.”

Charlene laughed, although he didn’t find it particularly funny. “I suppose if you pay attention to her, eventually you’ll know the places she likes to go, and it will probably make her feel valued and interesting if you can figure that out and say something like, ‘Would you like to go here,’ knowing that she enjoys the place.”

That made sense. That he eventually would figure out where she enjoyed going. “I think I see. How could I tell that though? How do I figure that out?”

“You listen. You listen to her talk. When you see someone eating a hot dog, and she says, ‘My mom made us eat hot dogs every night of my childhood, and I can’t stand them.’ Then you know she doesn’t like hot dogs. But maybe in passing she’ll compliment someone on a perfume that smells good to her, or she might say that she loves turtles, or you’ll pass a deer in the field and she’ll say that raccoons are her favorite animal. Just in casual conversation with her, you can find out so much about her. Then you remember those things, think about them, then use them to become more considerate.”

“Because that’s what this is, a lack of consideration?” He hated thinking he wasn’t considerate, but he knew it to be true. Sometimes he just didn’t think about how other people might feel or what they might want. It was especially hard when they were different from him.

“Maybe. Among other things. We all have multiple areas where we can improve. Don’t get down on yourself.”

He squeezed her hand. “I’m not getting down on myself. I’m used to hearing about my issues and trying to fix them. Just... The stakes feel higher here. Because I care. It’s not just my job, it’s...more.”

“That’s part of the reason I changed my mind, realized how wrong I was. When I thought about how many times you’d asked her out, gotten a ‘no’ for an answer, and yet, you didn’t give up. You didn’t nag her, or stalk her, but just let her know you were interested. That you liked what you saw. That rejection didn’t change how you felt.”

Maybe that was one of his strengths. It had to be. “I’ve found that persistence pays off. Sometimes persistence leads to a dead end too. And it’s hard to figure out whether you’re going toward that dead end until you hit it.”

“I know. And some people will say she said no, so move on. There are times where you have to keep trying and times when it’s time to quit. Regardless, sometimes you just have to wait and see what works.”

“It’s going to be hard to change my mindset. Because I guess I’ve been judged on my performance for so long, I feel like that’s where my worth is.”

“People look at you and admire you for what you can do. They like you for that. They’re friends with you because of that.”

“I know. And I resent it at times. But I can see subconsciously I had internalized that and that’s what I was trying to use to impress her.”

“Yeah. And Orchid is deeper than that. She goes beyond the surface. That’s part of the reason I think that you’ll be successful if you change your strategy. Orchid wouldn’t have said yes to your date if she didn’t see something there that she really likes.”

“And then I went and completely messed it up by parading all the other things I thought would impress her.”

“And you can fix that.” Charlene’s words were firm.

He took a breath and blew it out. He wasn’t going to be able to ask her out on another date. Not only had Miss Charlene said that wasn’t the best way to get to know someone, but Orchid would definitely never say yes again.

“I guess I’ll be hanging out at the auction barn a lot, just trying to be around her.”

“There’s an Apple Festival at the church next Monday. Daphne is supposed to be making apple turnovers with Orchid. But Daphne called me earlier today and told me that she’s struggling trying to keep up with taking care of her mom and the ranch and her daughter and everything that she needs to do. I told her not to worry about it, that I would find someone to take her place.”

Dwight’s heart leapt. He would have another chance.

“I actually called two other people, people I can usually depend on at the last minute to fill in, and no one could. It felt odd. It was actually what I was up praying about tonight when I saw you. The festival itself, and the fact that I might have to be on my feet making apple turnovers. Which I don’t think I could do. But God was working on answering my prayer before I even started praying it. If you’re interested in making apple turnovers next Monday with Orchid?”

“I sure am!” he said, and then he sobered immediately. “But that might not be enough time for me to figure out how I need to be different and to practice it. I don’t want to screw up again. She might give me another chance, but she can’t keep giving me chance after chance if I’m still the same self-centered person.”

“You’re ninety percent there. Most of it is admitting that there might be a problem, some people just can’t do that. They look at themselves and see perfection.”

“I don’t have a problem with that. I guess I just have a bunch of others.”

“We all have problems. Your entire life can be spent striving to be more like Jesus, and you’re never going to attain perfection. However, the more you try, the better you get.”

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