Page 28 of Finding Her Panthers

Pushing her away sounded like a good plan. Maybe she will forget about me? She would be happy with my brothers. I am not good enough for her.

I heard most of the conversation she had with Penny. Her desperation for us, not just them but me too. She thought I had no feelings for her, which was the last thing I wanted her to think. It pushed me over the edge. I had to show her how I felt. I was done arguing with myself, attempting to bring distance between us. If she was going to give us a shot, I had to do the same. Habits are hard to break. I will screw up. I will be tested.

I need her. I will protect her from all this shitty world will throw at her. I will be a mate to her in every sense of the word, even if it kills me.

Breaking out of the past as I hear Harmony’s feet hit the stairs, I retrieve another cup and fill it with coffee for her.

“Better?’ I ask. Her skin is flushed.

“Much,” she replies, wrapping her hands on her cup.

Her hair is still damp, leaving wet spots on her tank top, drawing my eyes down her body. I have to grin when I see the pajama pants she chose. There are all kinds of kittens, with yarn of every color.

“Kittens?”

“What’s wrong with kittens? I happen to love kittens,” she frowns at him.

“Should I call you kitty?” I tease.

The shock glows from her face. “Hold up. Did you, Blue West, just make a joke?”

My face falls. “Don’t make a big deal.” I roll my eyes, stepping around her, taking a seat on the couch.

She follows me, watching me closely, sliding entirely too close to me for my peace of mind. I can make jokes. But she’s watching me, studying my face critically.

“What?” I demand, curtly, turning on the tv to cut through the silence. I despise silence. It gives me more opportunities to think.

“Are you upset at me?” I thank the universe for divine intervention when my phone rings.

“Yeah?” I say a little too eagerly.

“Are you both safe?” I have never heard Jax so worried.

“Yes. At the house. We are locked up tight. What happened?” I demand. I hate being left out of the action, mainly because this man and this bitch are mine to deal with.

“We found a bomb. It was basic, small, and didn’t go off. The goal here is unclear. Did they hope she would be left alone so they could grab her? Or was this a scare tactic to show how serious they are?” He is frustrated.

“Could be both. We won’t know until we have our hands around their necks.” I try not to hurt anyone purposely anymore. Knowing how much I will enjoy inflicting horrible pain on them should be more disturbing than it is. “Are you coming home?”

“Soon. Stephan called. He checked everything. Nothing to report on his end. I think we’ll stop by there first and show my face.” Jax just can’t help being a compassionate leader.

“Sounds good. See you soon.”

“Later, Blue.”

“It didn’t go off?” Harmony overheard. With how close she is to me, it’s an easy task with our hearing.

“Heard everything right?” I ask dryly.

She has the nerve to give me a cheeky grin which makes her adorable. Jesus, who am I anymore?

“I just didn't want to misinterpret,” she says, shrugging her shoulders.

“They’ll be home shortly. Both are fine,” I confirm, stretching my arms out on the back of the couch. I sigh in relief. I was worried. I always had their back. I was in a weird position this time. It brought me back to being young and living on the sidelines.

“Are you still upset?” Harmony picks up the conversation where we left off. Shit!

I can either play it off, lie out my ass, or give her what she wants: the truth. At least some of the truth.

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