Page 80 of Perfect Cowboy

“Gav, I refuse to put your life at risk,” I reply. “It’s time for me to leave. I’ll figure my shit out as I go, but I can’t stay with you. Even if I need to work twenty hours a day, I’ll find a way to afford a hotel as I drive and make my way to… Shit. I don’t even know. Anywhere. Far away from here, so no one targets you.”

“What if they follow you? I won’t be able to keep you safe if you leave. You came to the ranch to get back on your feet. You can’t leave already. Don’t make decisions when you’re emotional, and for fuck’s sake, let me help you.”

“You’ve already helped me so much,” I reply, tears pouring down my cheeks. “Now let me help you. And the best way to do that is to leave so you’re not associated with me anymore.”

“It’s not like people are going to just forget,” Gavin replies. “If I’m a target, then I’ve already been marked whether you’re here or not.”

“But your parents. Your men. I can’t stay at the ranch.”

“Ashley, we have a ton of firepower. No one is going to hurt you or any of us there. We don’t run scared in my family.”

A cruiser pulls into the parking lot, and a sob escapes my throat because all it means is that we’ve reached the end.

“I’ll see you at the ranch,” I reply. “I’ll ask the deputy to drive me back. I need to pack and leave as soon as possible.”

“You don’t even have a car,” Gavin replies.

“Insurance will cover a rental.”

“Ashley, please. You need to–”

He’s not understanding. Nothing is getting through to him. I’m going to puke from the guilt. And if something happens to him? I’ll die, too.

“Gavin, stop! I’m not your problem. You need to focus on your family and your business. You’re not my boyfriend.”

He can’t hide the emotional carnage my words cause and his face crumples. But he’s a lot stronger than he was in high school. He has more armor around his heart now – because of me.

“You know what? You’re right,” he agrees. “I’m not.”

When I get back to the ranch, it’s so late that it’s early. In a couple of hours, Gavin’s men will be awake and starting work. They’ll all know what happened and will probably be worried about what risks it’s going to bring to them and their families.

I wasn’t able to provide much information to Henry, but the interview still took a long time. He had pictures of the burnt shell of my dad’s cabin and vehicle, which I insisted on looking at even though they made bile rise in my throat.

Burning to death could have been my fate, and I needed to see it. Absorb it.

I need to get away from here for good.

Maybe Gavin is right and whoever is behind the threats will follow me, but at least Gavin will be safe. And more than likely, once I’m gone and out of sight, I’ll fade away from the town’s collective memory again.

Even if Gavin is a target now, he won’t be for long if I’m not here.

When I get inside the cottage, it’s dark and deathly quiet. As soon as the insurance company opens, I’ll call and start the claims process. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get a rental car today and then I’ll start driving.

California is over twenty hours away, but it’s where Brady suggested we meet because we’ve both never been there. I can lose myself in the crowd, enjoy some time at the beach, and continue building my business.

Everything will be fine.

Gavin.

I can’t fight the crushing disappointment that our time together is cut short. The more I reflect on it, the more I realize that loving him is something I never stopped doing. We never had a real break-up, so it’s not like he did something to make me stop caring.

I did, though.

Even so, he seems willing enough to let me back into his bed. But who knows if he’d ever trust me enough to give me his heart again.

And if I stay and try to rekindle what we lost, then something could happen to him or his parents. That isn’t acceptable. His family means the world to him, and I’m just an ex-girlfriend.

There’s no way around it – I have to leave.

---