Page 87 of Perfect Alpha

“I can’t believe it was all for nothing,” I whisper. “All that heartache. For nothing.”

“You were right that day we got stranded. If I was a better man, we would still be in love, learning and growing together. And I’m sorry. Even if you never forgive me, even if you can’t move forward with me, I need you to know that I’m so fucking sorry.”

“But…” I don’t know what to say or how to begin processing this newfound reality.

“You sounded so excited about the offer.”

“Iwasexcited,” I admit. “It was cool to get a job offer right out of school because it meant someone saw potential in me. It gave me confidence, but that doesn’t mean I was planning to go.”

“So, why didn’t you tell me?” he asks.

“I thought it was obvious. We were building a life. It was a job. I was going to tell you that day in the woods, but then you broke up with me. You were such a prick, making me think you had someone else, so I didn’t even bother trying to explain. I guess your plan worked.”

Cade can undoubtedly detect the bitterness in my voice, but before he can witness that he’s absolutely destroying me, I storm away. He follows, gripping my wrist and turning me around to face him.

The desperation in his eyes constricts my throat. My face is on fire, and I’m frantically blinking away tears, my visceral reaction to his story on full display.

Shielding myself from him is impossible.

I’ve always been all in.

“Please don’t leave me right now,” he pleads. “I’m an asshole who doesn’t deserve you, but I’m begging you, angel. Stay.”

“I’mnotleaving you,” I whisper. “I’m not heartless. I’m just going to clean the kitchen and tidy up Aidan’s toys.”

“You don’t have to–”

“I want to. I need to do something.”

Looking at him would break me, and he keeps trying to angle his gaze on mine.

“You matter more to me than anything,” he says. “I would never… If you give me another shot, it would be you forever, every single time. You fucking own me. Surely you know that by now.”

“Until the next time you decide I should do something else?” I demand. “Until the next time you make a decision that affects both of us, and I get no say in my own life?”

“I wouldn’t–”

“How do Iknowthat?” I snap. “You kept this story from me for years! How can I possibly trust you?”

“I was trying to do what’s best for you. Telling you the truth would have defeated the purpose of letting you go. But I was wrong. So fucking wrong. I’m totally miserable without you, angel. All I want is to have you back. Please give me – give us – a second chance.”

“I can’t talk about this anymore right now. Please move out of my way.”

He backs up just enough to let me pass, forcing me to squeeze against him while walking by.

“Go lie down and try to relax. I’ll bring you food and your medication soon, okay? I’m going to clean the kitchen.” There’s so much burning tightness in my throat, that I’m surprised I can get any words out through the ache.

There are rocks in my stomach from learning the misery I’ve been enduring for years was completely unnecessary. To make it worse, he’s been suffering, too.

And now he wants me back? I’m just supposed to pretend it never happened?

“Thank you,” he whispers.

“I’m a mess right now, but I’m not leaving,” I assert. “And, spoiler alert, I wouldn’t have left before either.”

“Victory–”

He’s visibly shaking from ten feet away, and his agony rips through me like it’s my own. With a sigh, I give in and hug him, his solid weight collapsing gratefully against me.

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