Page 24 of Haze of Obedience
"Zoe, what is that?"
"What?"
Dirk reaches for me and tears something off my back shoulder and throws it far into the current.
"Ow!"
"Zoe, stand up."
"No." I cross my arms over my chest.
"Zoe, you have leeches on you. Stand up now."
I jump out of the water. I cry out, "What? Get them off!"
"Stay still."
"Oh God. Get them off. Please!"
He checks out the front of my body then spins me. "Stay still." He spends several minutes ripping dozens off my back, then picks me up and carries me over to the rock.
"What are you doing?"
"Stay still. I need to make sure you don't have them anywhere else. Just chill out for a minute."
Tears fill my eyes. "Okay."
He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I think I got them all, but let me make sure."
As his eyes scour every inch of my body, the heat in his eyes grow. The noise of the jungle animals howl and the river rushes past us.
He removes a few more. His fingers trace on my skin. "You're bleeding in a few spots, and there's already a bit of swelling. When you're done, I'll put some steroid cream on them. You can take some ibuprofen too."
"No. I don't need that."
"You do. You can get an infection."
"I'm fine." I try to get up, but he steps in front of me.
"Zoe, this isn't up for debate."
I push him out of the way. "No." I go further into the water than I should, and the current begins to take me downstream. I try to catch my footing but can't, panic, and water goes into my lungs.
Dirk dives under the water, grabs me, then pulls me back. I'm coughing, and he wraps his arms around me and rubs my back. "You okay?"
When I catch my breath, I try to push out of his hold, but he tightens his embrace.
"Stop fighting me all the time. You act like I'm out to hurt you."
Something inside me breaks. I didn't even know I had anything still whole, but it snaps in two, and I sob.
Shame, failure, and regret spiral so fast I feel dizzy.
"Hey. Shhh." Dirk pushes my face into the curve of his neck and caresses my head.
"Don't give me any drugs. Please," I sob.
"Shhh."
