Page 25 of Haze of Obedience
"I can't...don't..." I choke, trying to get air.
"Shhh. Okay."
When I stop crying, I apologize and begin the process all over again.
Dirk keeps comforting me and telling me it will be okay, but I don't believe him. It will never be okay. I'll always be property of the Global Leaders, and there is nothing he or anyone else can do about it. They always win, and eventually, they will find me.
"Tell me what this is about."
"No. I can't."
"Zoe, whoever is out to hurt you, I will go after. Tell me."
"No. They will kill you."
"They won't. Tell me."
"Please stop asking. I won't. I can't."
He takes a deep breath. "Okay. I'll stop for now. Will you tell me why you don't want me to give you something for your injuries? Malin sprayed your leg last night, and you seemed okay with that."
You have to tell him now.
My stomach flips.
"I read the bottle. It didn't have anything addictive, or for pain, it was just to stop an infection."
He furrows his brows. "Did you have a problem with drugs or alcohol?"
New tears fall. "Not until they made me a coke addict."
"Who?"
"I can't tell you. Please."
He holds me against him again and kisses my head. "Okay."
I lean back. "Can you not tell anyone? Please? No one except Penelope and Julieta knows."
He tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. "No one will know because of me. You have my word."
I sniffle a few times. "Thank you."
"Thank you for telling me."
"I never wanted any part of it. It wasn't anything I ever even contemplated. But now..." More tears fall. Embarrassment is an understatement, and I can't even look at him.
"Shhh. It's okay."
"It's not."
"You're clean. That's a big achievement. You should be proud of yourself."
I still don't look at him.
"How long have you been sober?"
I turn to him. "I...I don't know. How long have I been gone?"
