Page 147 of Carnal

I couldn't answer him. On the one hand, I felt horrible for hurting him. He rescued me and kept me safe from the man, Tristano, who kidnapped me. Yet, I don't feel anything but repulsion when he touches me. Plus, he smells like cigarette smoke, his overbuilt, steroid-enhanced body is unattractive to me, and something about him makes my subconscious scream for me not to get close. Those things make me question how I could have ever loved him enough to get engaged.

Engaged.

My stomach flips. I glance down at my hand. A gorgeous sapphire with diamonds surrounding it sparkles on my ring finger. It's incredible that it didn't get destroyed or lost in the accident. Every time I see it, I can't help but think it's perfect. And if I still have it and it feels like it was made for me, then isn't that a sign I need to tap into whatever I used to feel for Biagio and move forward with my life?

So much confuses me. When Biagio gives me his wounded expression, I tell him, "I'm sorry. I still don't remember anything about us."

My words only hurt him further. He'll scowl at me like I'm destroying him.

Maybe I am. I don't want to, but when he kisses me, my skin crawls. I wish it didn't, yet I don't know how to stop it.

Regardless of my errors, Biagio has been good to me. While his aura screams danger, I don't feel scared around him. Perhaps it's because he's done everything to take care of me.

Kiko is another story. Something about that guy makes me terrified to cross him.

I asked Biagio once, "Why do you send Kiko here?"

Biagio replies, "When I'm out of town, I need to make sure you're okay."

"But I have Tracy," I stated.

Biagio slid his arm around me. I wanted to shake it off but had already hurt him once that day. "Tracy needs to be accountable, too."

"She's doing her job," I insisted.

"Yes. But would she if we weren't watching her?"

His question only added to my confusion.Don't nurses usually do their jobs?

As if her ears were burning, Tracy came into the room with my medicine. "Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Abruzzo. I need to give Pina her shot." She stuck it in my arm and then left.

I rubbed my skin over the incision site. "I don't understand why I need this shot. I'm feeling a lot better."

"Doctor's orders. I need to go," Biagio said, rising.

Panic filled me. As much as I feel strange around Biagio, I get nervous when he's not here. There's no one else to connect to, and besides, he loves me. I may not feel it toward him, but he tells me all the time. So I tugged on his arm, inquiring, "Wait. Why can't I go home with you?"

"I've told you that it isn't safe."

"When will it be?"

"Soon. Very soon." He kissed me on the forehead and left, which was good. Like all the other times I got my shot, I quickly fell into a deep sleep.

Today, he showed up around breakfast and told me he was taking me home. At first, I was excited. Then, he whisked me through the house and into the garage. I got into the SUV and felt like I couldn't breathe.

Tracy claimed it was a panic attack. I don't know if I've had them in the past, but it felt like I was having a heart attack. Halfway through the journey, I found my breath.

And now, I'm in front of a mansion. The gray stone feels cold even though the sun is shining. I'm not even wearing a jacket it's so warm, but I still shiver.

Biagio pushes Tracy out of the way. He slides his arm around me, stating, "Let's get you inside so you can rest."

I lift my chin, claiming, "I'm okay."

"You aren't," he insists.

"No, I am," I argue.

He sniffs hard and grinds his molars.

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