Page 146 of Carnal

He rises. "Yes. I told you that you were in an induced coma. The doctor was worried about your brain swelling."

"Why haven't you found her if it's been two weeks?" I bark.

Papà holds his hands out. "Calm down. This isn't good for your recovery."

I slam my hand on the desk. A sharp sting jolts through my rib cage. I wince and boom, "I don't give a damn about my recovery. I need you to find her."

"We're doing everything we can."

"Not good enough," I snarl.

He moves around his desk and places both palms on my cheeks. "Son, I know you're upset. You need to focus on your recovery. When we find Pina—and we will locate her—she'll need you strong."

My insides shake harder. I'm a man on the verge of cracking, and I've never experienced anything like this before. I manage to get out, "What's he doing to her? Right now, Papà. What's he putting her through?"

Papà's face darkens. He sniffs hard and replies, "You can't focus on that. The only thing you can do right now is get your strength back. I promise you, we will find her."

I say nothing, too afraid if I speak, I'm going to break down.

When I asked Pina to marry me, I knew that she was my life. Nothing has ever hurt like this, and I've never been scared until now. This seems like a cruel punishment. I wonder if it's penance for everything bad I've ever done.

24

Pina

Two Months Later

"Don't move too fast,"Tracy advises, tucking a piece of her gray hair behind her ear. She's the nurse who's taken care of me since I woke up. Biagio and Kiko come and go, but Tracy always seems to be there.

As much as she's helped nurse me back to health, I'm unsure what to think of her. Whenever I try to get to know her, she flips to her cold personality. The first time it happened, I was shocked. As time passed, it became a game for me. I was bored and lonely. Trying to figure out Tracy was the only thing I could do to help pass the time. So, every day, I tried to learn something personal about her.

I didn't do very well. She's as tight-lipped as anyone I've ever met.

Not that I remember a lot of people.

Flashes of my past will pop up in my mind at random times. For each episode, I try to figure out who the people were, what I was doing, and which part of my life that memory belongs to. Pieces of what I think are my childhood appeared first. I was hungry, studying, or moving homes.

After the first episode, I asked Biagio why my family wasn't visiting me. I was sure the people in my visions were them. His answer made me wish I had never asked.

He told me they were all dead. He said the man who kidnapped me killed my family.

It sent me into a tailspin of depression, even though I still can't remember a lot about them. Biagio would visit and attempt to comfort me, but it didn't help. Every time he touches me, my skin crawls. Something about him makes me not want to trust him. I can't put my finger on it, but it's just a feeling I have.

Maybe if I had a memory of him, it would help. Yet, I remember nothing about our relationship.

After a few weeks, my flashbacks morphed into other things. I was in a beautiful office, working. Dark-haired men who I assume are brothers spoke Italian. Christmas parties with hundreds of people, birthday celebrations, and other events would feel so real, it made me long to experience them again. And it's always with the same people.

All of it adds to my confusion. Every memory I have is like looking through a window but not understanding the whole story. And the current visions I'm having make my heart ache, but I don't know why.

There are more and more flashbacks of the two brothers. It started with who I think might be in charge. I also think he's a twin because there's another guy who looks like a replica of him. Yet, different emotions pop up when they are both together. Something tells me I like the twin who I believe might be in charge a little bit better. There's no reason for my intuition. It's just a strange feeling I can't shake.

Then there's the man I think is the youngest of the brothers. Sometimes the way he looks at me makes my heart skip a beat. His chiseled cheekbones and intense eyes haunt me.

It makes me feel guilty. Biagio has been nothing but sweet to me. He'll come at strange times, and there's never any warning. Sometimes, I wake up and see him sitting in the chair, staring at me. It used to freak me out, but I'm slowly getting used to it.

Over the last few weeks, I've been able to move around more. Three times, Biagio tried to kiss me. It wasn't his normal kiss on the head or cheek or peck on the lips. He shoved his tongue in my mouth, and each time, I pulled away, cringing.

He got angry with each incident. He barked, "Are you ever going to love me again?"

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