Page 100 of Crazed

"No! I never said that," she claims.

"But you choose not to trust me enough to protect you from whatever this is," I accuse.

She closes her eyes, whispering, "Massimo—"

"Don't sugarcoat it, Katiya. One thing I'm not is stupid," I interject.

She stares at me. Anguish is all over her expression. She turns away, and a tear drips down her cheek.

It cuts me to the core. I always assumed I was immune to others affecting me in this way, but it's clear I'm not. I clench my jaw, take several controlled breaths, and reach for her chin. I force her to look at me and ask, "Are you working for the Abruzzos? And don't you dare lie to me."

Her bottom lip trembles. She scrunches her face, and her tears become a solid stream.

My heart drops. I don't need her to answer. I can't deny it anymore. Everything about the truth makes me naive, and what I just told her I wasn't—stupid.

Rage builds inside me, boiling my blood. Part of me wishes I didn't know this information. The other part curses myself for being such a fool. I snarl, "What do you do for them?"

Her entire body trembles. She chokes out, "Massimo. I-I-I didn't want any part of it. I swear I didn't. I-I love you."

I grind my molars. For the first time ever, I question if she does. If she's working for the Abruzzos, she's one of them.

How can an Abruzzo love a Marino when they hate us as much as we hate them?

Does this new information change everything I feel toward her?

I wish it didn't hurt, but it does. If only I didn't love her or imagine us married, spending our lives together.

Why did I let myself fall so hard?

I hurl, "You didn't want any part of what?"

"What Leo wants me to do."

"What's that?"

She puts her shaking hands over her face.

"Stop stalling!" I order as another thought pops into my mind. I swallow my pride, ignore the pain in my heart, and ask, "Did you lie to me about what Ludis and Leo did to you?"

Shame fills her face. She wipes it, but it's pointless. "I didn't lie about that."

"No? How do I know you didn't tell me that just to fool me?" I angrily reply.

She lifts her chin. "You think I'd lie about that? You think I have it in me to make up the gruesome things they did to me?"

Guilt eats me. The sick feeling I always get when I think about what she told me spins in my gut. When I got her to open up, the detailed account of their sordid actions made me nauseous.

I sigh, softening my voice, and admitting what I shouldn't. "Make me believe you, Katiya. More than anything, I want to trust you and believe what you tell me. But you can't continue this lie anymore. The Feds have you on tape. They recorded your meetings with Leo."

"What?" she asks, the color draining from her cheeks. "I-I don't understand. Why would they be watching me? I've not done anything illegal."

I glance at the ceiling, working through my frustration about all of this. Then I refocus on her, stating, "You're meeting with Abruzzos. That's enough for them to be interested in you."

"I didn't want to," she claims again.

Tense silence fills the air. My insides quiver, mimicking her body. "Time's up. I need to know everything. Now."

Emotions plague her expression. She reaches for my face and firmly repeats, "I didn't want any part of this. I love you. I need you to believe me."

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