Page 99 of Crazed

My gut flips. Hearing him admit he knows I'm hiding things makes me ill. I sniffle, confessing, "I'm sorry. I don't want to. I-I don't want to hurt you or do any of it."

His eyes darken. He grinds his molars. So much anger appears on his face, it scares me. But it also makes me think that I deserve whatever he's going to do to me. His nostrils flare a few times, and he states, "Tell you what. Why don't you tell me everything? No lies. Just whatever Leo is threatening you about, you tell me."

My insides quiver hard. Paralysis takes over, and I don't even breathe.

"Katiya, if you don't tell me, I'll find out on my own. You have a choice to make. Choose me. Choose us. We'll figure out how to deal with whatever is going on. If you don't tell me, then you're on your own. And when I do find out the truth, I won't show mercy to anyone when I deliver the consequences. That includes you. I won't be able to protect you from the Abruzzos or my family. Do you understand?"

Everything crashes down around me. I sob into his arms, so far into the secret life I never wanted that I don't know what to do. I want to tell him everything, but I still have a deep fear about Leo killing me. I'd rather receive the wrath of Massimo or his family than any Abruzzo. The Marinos may be as dangerous, but at least I would be paying for my sins.

"Katiya, choose me," he orders, but I hear the fear in his voice, too. It's the only time I've ever heard it. New pain shoots through my heart. I hate how he thinks I'm even contemplating not choosing him.

I roll into him more, tilting my head and stating, "You think I'm not choosing you if I don't tell you, but did you ever consider it's the exact opposite?"

"What do you mean?"

I shake my head, so tired of the deceit and position Leo's put me in. The exhaustion from it all overwhelms me. Even if I told Massimo everything and there was no threat to him, I wonder how I could ever admit it. Once I do, he'll never love me again. I'm a monster. No one, not even a dangerous man like Massimo, could ever continue giving his heart to a woman willing to betray him. It doesn't matter if I was under Leo's orders and fearful for my life. I didn't have the courage to try and kill Leo myself or let him end my life. I took the easy way out.

Massimo pushes. "Katiya, what did you mean by not telling me you're choosing me?"

"He'll kill you. If I tell you everything, you'll go after him. It'll be a suicide mission. You'll end up dead, and he'll string your head in his courtyard for the vultures to eat," I declare. My stomach pitches thinking of all the decapitated, bloody heads Leo put on display, sending a message to everyone in his house that he's the boss.

Anger flares on Massimo's cheeks. It's the opposite of what I expected, and now I'm reprimanding myself for once again being naive. Why did I assume he would be thankful I'm trying to look out for him?

His anger turns into disappointment, and in a deadly voice, he proclaims, "I've been wrong about you."

My chest tightens. I stay quiet as my heart continues to break into millions of pieces. This is it. There will be no more us after this conversation.

"You don't know the first thing about me, do you?"

Confused, I question, "What do you mean?"

"If you knew me, you'd know that I'm not scared of Leo Abruzzo. The only one who will have access to anyone's head is me. When I get done with him, his body will be inmypossession. It'll be mutilated beyond recognition and tossed to the dogs. When the bones are the only thing left, those will disappear into thin air. And you know what else?"

The hairs on my neck rise. I slowly shake my head.

Massimo's eyes darken. "I'll enjoy every minute of torturing him."

20

Massimo

There's somuch anger flaring through my bones, it's hard to maintain my composure. I promised myself I wouldn't talk to Katiya about this until we got to Bora Bora. If I got her far away from New York and Leo, I assumed she'd open up and tell me what's going on.

My plan to distract both of us until we're in the sunshine failed. I couldn't keep my mind off it. The need to make it clear to her I knew she was hiding things from me only grew more intense.

I reprimand myself for screwing all this up.

Her hesitation to divulge the truth and assumption I can't handle Leo isn't doing much to help me keep my cool. I'm giving her every benefit of the doubt, but Papà's nagging voice is growing louder in my head.

It happens to the best of us.

We fall for an enemy.

My gut twists. I'm running out of time. My family and the O'Connors know the Feds were watching Katiya. They are aware Leo was visiting her. I need an explanation and fast. Not only to prove my family wrong but to protect my dolce from whatever is going on. And if I don't get to the bottom of this, I don't trust my family to not take matters into their own hands.

I should have killed that bastard months ago.

The more time passes and she doesn't speak, the more agitated I get. I seethe, "You think I'm weaker than that thug?"

---