Page 100 of So Wild

Sam urged him onto his back and rode him like a cowgirl. Within seconds, his whole body seized up, the pleasure so all-consuming he felt like he was going to black out.

When he was done, she withdrew and lay down beside him, their bodies slick, her school dress soaked with their sweat.

“That was amazing,” Sam whispered into his ear. “Best first time ever.”

It had been the best first time ever. He wasn’t the kind of guy who thought everything besides vaginal intercourse was second best and he’d come to believe Edgar DaSilva when he said virginity wasn’t as important as teenagers believed it to be, but this was different from anything they’d done before. This had been a union. Scott kissed her neck. “You’re fucking incredible, Samantha.”

She didn’t meet his gaze. “Thanks.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah it’s just…” She pressed two fingertips to her mouth. “We were sober.”

Scott stared down at her, wanting to ask, but not wanting to say something clumsy and hurt her.

“I’m not an alcoholic. I promise I don’t have a problem, but I’ve always found it hard to be with someone when I’m not a bit pissed. This was…you were amazing.”

Scott forced himself not to be sappy and repeat that she was fucking incredible. Instead, he took her hand. “What can we do to make you feel better?”

Sam giggled. “I already feel pretty great. Hey, do you want some of the pie I brought?”

“That’s a pie in the container? Like the ones you used to make?”

She glanced away, staring at the back of the couch. “Yeah, cherry and sour cream.”

“You didn’t need to do that.”

“I know.” She flashed a look at him, her fingers twisting at her lower lip. “I was…always better at talking with actions, not words. After you left for London, I kept the same nail polish on for weeks. It got all ratty and chipped but I couldn’t make myself take it off. It felt like admitting you were gone. Eventually there was only the smallest bit on my pinkie and when it chipped away…”

“What happened?”

“I cried.” She touched his lower lip. “I didn’t think about emailing you or calling, but I cried when my nail polish was all gone. It was sparkly orange. I never wore it again.”

He stared at her, feeling an unfamiliar prickle in the backs of his eyes. “T-t-thanks for s-saying that.”

She smiled softly. “I think I should say more.”

He could have told her it didn’t matter, that he didn’t need her apologies, but he sensed that it was what she needed and stayed quiet.

Samantha pulled in a deep breath. “I’m sorry for not talking to you when I heard about the heritage stuff. I’m sorry for drawing on your face. I’m sorry for not being able to say I trusted you when I did. I’m sorry for pranking you so hard when we were kids, I’m sorry for buy­scott­sanderson­aroot.com, I’m sorry for not being there for you when your mum died. I’m justsorry, Scott.”

Her eyes were glossy and watching her, Scott’s own vision blurred. “Thanks for saying that. It’s all okay, though. You were my age, neither of us knew what we were doing. We were running around trying to make sense of things and failing miserably—just like all teenagers. Besides, you did make me feel better.”

“It doesn’t feel like I did.”

“Well you did.” He brushed the hair out of her eyes. “Just knowing you were nearby always made me feel better.”

She smiled up and him and he had the sudden, utterly insane impulse to tell her he loved her. He clenched his teeth, knowing it would be disingenuous, not to mention a fucking cliché—telling a girl you loved her right after you’d fucked.

“I like that you play the drums,” Sam said. “I saw you playing through the window once. You looked beautiful.”

“I think you’re beautiful all the time.”

She smiled at him, then it faded slightly. “Scott, I know we were messing around but I don’t want to be a dick or a liar. I kind of meant what I said before. I want to explore what’s between us, but I can’t be a couple right away. My life is still so crazy and work’s full on. I’m worried if we jumped into a relationship, I’d explode from combined pressure.”

Scott ignored the metallic taste of disappointment in his mouth. “That’s fine. What do you need?”

“For you to be…patient with me, no labels, no heavy expectations. I just want to hang out and have sex and see how things go. Are you all right with that?”

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