Page 103 of Degrees of Control

There it was again, that anger bubbling beneath his words, but she was too close to concentrate. The wrongness was merging with the way James knew exactly how she liked it, exactly where to move so that her whole body was prickling with pleasurable pins, her cunt soaked and her tits swayed in time with his thrusts. She pressed her mouth into the clean mat and screamed again, praying the sound would be lost in the fibers and the pulsing music outside.

James gave a strained chuckle. “Gonna come, aren’t you, slut?”

“Yes, more please, please, please.”

His hands pressed hard into her hips and he began fucking her at full thrust, pumping so hard it felt like he was splitting her open. Charlie arched her back, feeling the surge, knowing it was about to be there. “Please,please.”

“That’s it,” James snarled. “Beg me to nail you baby, that’s all I’m fuckin’ good for.”

Huh?She thought and then she came, fast and hard. It was too intense to be pleasurable, like looking at a solar eclipse without any eye-protection. Wetness gushed between her legs and she screamed and thrashed against him.

James clapped a hand over her mouth, his hips still ploughing hard, forcing himself into her spasming cunt. “You’re too amped up for a long screw. I’m gonna come in you before you holler the whole fuckin’ house down.”

Her body twitching with the aftermath, Charlie closed her eyes and felt him. He thrust hard inside her, thighs slapping hers. This was what she loved, when his lust shrank her down into nothing but body. Fireworks sparked behind her eyes, a cacophony of noise and colour, fresh explosions bursting before the last had even begun to fade. It was a roar, so fucking intense, but beautiful. Primal.

James came bucking hard against her. She felt him tense, felt his fluid join hers, thick and somehow satiating. They rested in the moment together, that vacuum that rose up when lust died away. She could suddenly hear every pulse of the music, the throb of collective conversation. She and James were separate but joined, and so was everyone else.

Fucking hippie,she thought and smiled at herself. She turned to say something to James but before she could, he clumsily seized her hand. He brought her palm to his mouth and instead of kissing it, the way she’d thought he would, hoped he would, he took her finger into his mouth and drew her silver ring off with his teeth.

“Think I’ll keep this.” He spat it into his palm. “Thanks for the fuck, Peaches.”

He pulled out and staggered to his feet.

Liquid ran between Charlotte’s legs, his and hers. Though a second ago she’d felt utterly drained, the promise of more play had her whole body sparking. She liked being degraded after sex and James knew it. She stayed on her knees as he stood, hoping he was going to make her lick him clean, and then she saw he was unlocking the door. Her mouth fell open. “James, are you seriously leaving?”

In different circumstances, it might have been funny, how different her voice sounded. The moaning whispering virgin was gone, this was a woman addressing her partner—crystal clear and concise, the tone snapping with an unfamiliar energy.

I’m angry, some separate part of her realised.Oh god, I’m really angry.

James turned and Charlie knew she’d made a mistake sleeping with him in this way. He looked wired, every line of his body was taut and it was clear he was even more on edge than he had been at the party.

“You usually like bein’ used and abused,” he said, his voice void of any emotion. “I was just trying to give you what you like.”

“This is different and you know it.”

James stared at her, not denying it.

Charlie stood up, her skirt falling around her legs. She reached for a nearby box of tissues and began trying to wipe away the wetness without breaking eye-contact with James. “We need to talk, and not bullshit fumbly talk about how you’re really fine. I need to know what’s wrong.”

“I’ve already told you, nothing.”

“That’s bullshit fumbly talk,” she said, wishing she wasn’t mopping up jizz. “Stop denying it and be real with me.”

James ran a hand through his hair. “We’ve already been in here for an hour, we need to go before Sophia calls for a search and rescue.”

A good point, but not the truth she needed to hear. “James, I’m only gonna ask you one more time, what’s wrong? Why was the sex so weird just now? And don’t say it wasn’t. It was so intense and it definitely felt good, but it’s not leaving me with a lot of good feelings.”

A flat smile. “Sorry to hear that baby, but nothin’ wrong. I’m just drunk.”

He stepped forward and ran a gentle hand down her cheek. “I love you, Charlotte.”

“I love you too,” she said desperately. “Look, it’s late and we’re both tired. Do you just want to go to bed? We can cuddle.”

“Can’t.” James reached for the door handle. “I’m gonna go have a few more drinks, okay?”

“I think you’ve had enough to drink.”

He gave her a look that said she was being a nag and Charlie felt her anger spike. She didn’t want to nag him, she just wanted him to admit he wasn’t okay. It was so unfair that wanting him to talk about what was clearly wrong could so easily be framed as her being unreasonable. She was so sick of this uneasiness, the not-knowing, the quiet belief that maybe he was looking for a way out. She walked to the door and blocked it with her body. “Look, you just used sex to punish me for something I don’t understand and I deserve to know why.”

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