Page 112 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

Chapter 29

Reuben sent me homethat night around eleven. We shared a few glasses of wine, but not as much as Monday, and not enough to make me have to stay in my galaxy room. Although part of me wanted to, I knew it was a bad idea and I should step back and have some space.

He warned me about the frenzy of a new relationship. “We need to slow down here, Alice. Frenzy is dangerous.”

He also gave me a list of phone numbers of his former playmates and submissives, including Megan’s number. The next morning while I was waiting on a phone call from Social Services about one of the orphans we looked after, I started texting some of the girls on the list.

First I texted Sanaii, his former masochistic sub. I reached out to her and got a text back right away.

Alice: Hi, this is Alice. I’m hoping you can tell me a little bit about your experience with Reuben Weston.

Sanaii: Thank God he’s finally moving again! Tell me everything! How’d you meet? Do you like him? Have you played yet?

Alice: Only a spanking. It was... amazing.

Sanaii: He’s incredible. I actually work for him at The Lounge, I tend bar downstairs. He’s a good man and a great playmate. Never crossed a line, read me like a book, and taught me to take more pain than I’ve ever had in my life.

Sanaii and I talked for a little longer, but then she had to go to work. She had nothing but good things to say about him.

The next person on the list was a girl named Gabby. She didn’t answer right away, but when she did, I was a little surprised.

Alice: Hi, this is Alice. I’m hoping you can tell me a little bit about your experience with Reuben Weston.

Gabby: Hi there. Sorry I’m not much help. I feel like our dynamic fell apart before it really got started. We met right before his accident.

Alice: how did you meet?

Gabby: at his bar. I’m into ropes, and he did some demos with me and we decided to do some more scenes together. We did a few weeks off and on, casual, before his accident.

Alice: what happened after his accident?

Gabby: he was in the hospital for three weeks. Wouldn’t let anyone in to see him but Megan. That’s when I knew we were over. I know I wasn’t his favorite, but it still felt like he was neglecting me. He moved back home and had everyone come over, one at a time. Told us all he needed some time. It was impersonal and a little childish, to be honest.

Alice: Would you scene with him again?

Gabby: nope. I need emotional intimacy. He never wanted to give that to me. He had his girls he loved, and then he had his side toys. I deserve more than that. But... he was always honest with me about where we stood. So at least I never felt led on.

I didn’t text Gabby again. I couldn’t blame her for not wanting to be a side piece.

Becca was on the list too, but I skipped her for now. So was Simon Pierce. I didn’t even like seeing his name on the list.

I knew Reuben considered Simon a friend, but I didn’t want to talk to him. He had been there the days I’d safeworded at The Underground, and he hadn’t done anything. As far as I know, he’d ghosted me the same way Michael Lewis had. I hadn’t heard from him since. And it really hurt.

It was too easy for me to cut people off. I knew part of it was my disorder, and I tried to be realistic about things. It was hard when my entire brain was swimming in hormones and emotions all the time. But not getting a call or a text was objective. As far as I was concerned, Simon Pierce had abandoned me, and I had no interest in reaching out to him.The thought hurt, because I’d considered him a close friend.

The last person I texted was Megan. She was on the top of the list, but I’d skipped her because I’d felt a little intimidated. She knew Reuben more intimately than probably anyone else. Except maybe Becca, but it was hard to say.

She didn’t answer my initial message, and she still hadn’t by that evening at a quarter to six. I decided I probably wasn’t going to hear from her that day, so I silenced my phone and made my way up Sunset Lake Road to Reuben’s house, arriving a minute before six and just in time.

I was excited for our conversation tonight. He said we were going to talk about limits, kinks, and punishments. I was also a little scared though, because this was probably going to be the day that would determine if we were compatible. If his hard limit was me being a snot, and his main goal was to tame me and turn me into a good girl, this would end in heartbreak and frustration for both of us. Because fuck that.

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