Page 339 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

“This is going to remind you, all day long, that you belong to me, and that your discomfort pleases me.”

I heard a sound of plastic pieces sliding against each other. The plug moved, growing larger inside me, pressing against the walls of my anus. I seemed to get fuller... and fuller...

Shit. It was one of those inflatable ones.

He spoke softly, tenderly, in my ear as he gave a few more slow pumps to the plug, until it was just barely on the edge of painful.

“You are going to come with me to work today. You need to go get dressed and do your hair and makeup, and get yourself all pretty and fancy for me. You’ll keep the cuffs on, and I may incapacitate your hands when we are alone.

“While I’m in meetings or doing inspections, you’ll be writing me an apology letter, explaining why you did what you did, what you were thinking when you made the decision, why it was wrong, and what you have learned. You’ll give it to me this evening, and I will make sure we are on the same page as to why this was such a big deal. Do you understand?”

“Yes Sir,” I moaned.

He removed the pump from the plug and wiped up the mess of cum from my sex. Pulling me up by the hair, he shoved his fingers in my mouth, hitting the back of my throat.

I loved the feeling of his hands on my body and in my mouth. The filth of his actions shocked me out of depression and into the mental headspace of wanting to do anything to please him. Because he was my shelter and my rock.

He sensed the transition in my mind, and carefully pulled his fingers from my mouth, letting them brush against my lips. A long string of saliva connected us for a moment before it broke and fell against my chest.

“Tell me you love me,” I whispered, desperate to hear the words.

“I love you.” He kissed my forehead. “I adore you. I treasure you. I need you.” He followed each statement with a kiss on my forehead or my cheeks.

“Tell me you don’t hate me,” I begged.

“I could never hate you. I was terrified when I found you like that... motionless and dead to the world. Baby... sw–” he cut himself off.

Sweetheart.

But he didn’t say it.

Because I had asked him not to.

Not a breath of air passed my lips as I mouthed the words. “I love you.”

He tilted my chin up so he could look me in the eye. “You’re going to hate me by tonight... but that’s okay. We’ll get to the other side, alright, love? You’re going to take your punishment...” I could hear the words he wanted to say but didn’t.

Like a good girl.

“Because you need it. Not me... but you. Okay, baby? Pretty girl? My phoenix?” He kissed my chin. “My little fox?” He kissed the tears off my cheeks.

I nodded, unable to speak. I was so relieved he hadn’t broken up with me, or that I wasn’t dead and wrapped around a signpost.

“Look at me. Open your eyes and look at me... That’s my girl. You wear my collar, whether it’s jewelry and chains, or a leather strap. I’ll carve my name into your skin if I need to. You belong to me, and I am not letting you go. If I have a problem with your behavior, I will punish you and help you fix it, not cast you aside because you messed up. Understand?”

I managed to nod before my knees gave out. The sheer relief of not losing the most important thing in my life, the only thing I was living for, broke me in half.

He pulled me back up and lifted me by my thighs, and I locked my ankles around his waist. “I am not going to abandon you. God knows I’ll fail you. I already have. Hell, I failed you yesterday. Why would I cast you aside because you failed me?”

“Because everyone else has!” I spat the words out before I even thought about them. “Nobody keeps me around, Reuben. Nobody does! I’m a short-term thing because I’m too much for anyone to deal with! I’m fuckingcomplicated!I’m a problem!”

“You’re my world. You’re my refuge. Do you have any idea what you’ve given me?”

I buried my face in his chest and shook my head.

“Maybe one day you’ll believe me, but Alice... you are the one person who has looked me in the eye, despite the horrors of my soul, andsmiled.”

My stomach twisted and my jaw dropped as his eyes spilled over with... tears?

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