Page 340 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

“Bear,” I whispered, and lifted my hands to his face, rubbing away the strange foreignness on his face and kissing his cheeks until he was breathing right again.

“Fuck,” he murmured into my hair. “One of these days...”

“What?”

“No,” he said. “I’m not going to say things like that to you today. More hoops, little bug. We’ll get there. For now...” he reached down and pressed a finger against the plug filling my asshole. And I let out a moan of both pleasure and discomfort.

“For now, you’re going to suffer for me all fucking day, and remember who owns you. And when you’re ready, we’ll work on that fear of stuff around your neck. But don’t you ever consider tying anything around your neck. For fuck’s sake, Alice, you tied it far too tight! It’s a damn miracle you didn’t get hurt!”

“Really?” I whispered. “It wasn’t as tight as what he put on me.”

He set me down on the ground and looked down at me, working his mouth like he was debating something.

“Show me?” It was just a whisper.

He pursed his lips, and turned to walk away.

I hung my head, my heart cracking at the rejection. But then I heard a drawer slide open.

He removed a long dragon’s-tail whip. It wasn’t one of the leather bullwhips that I associated with my trauma, but rather a long flat strip that moved to a tapered point, hence its name. Watching him study it, grip it in his hand, and then tilt his head and look at me...oh my fuck,that was the most dangerous, most intense glare he’d ever given me.

I bent my knees and went into a kneeling pose on pure instinct. I figured if anything would prove to him I was serious, this would.

He approached me and draped the strip across the back of my neck. I looked up at him, my breath coming in fast bursts, nervous and anxious.

“Count your breaths. Five in, hold, five out, hold. Out loud... Nice and slow... that’s right... that’s my girl. Very good... okay. You shake your head to stop, or say whatever you want.”

I breathed. I counted.

He picked up both ends and held them together in front of my neck. He waited, watching me. He pinched them a little closer. He waited. I choked on my count just from the nerves.

He released the strips and stroked my hair.

“No,” I murmured.

“Tomorrow. We’ll do it again tomorrow. Okay?”

More stupid fucking tears erupted from my eyes, and he dragged me to my feet, kissing me until I had no choice but to breathe.

“One day at a time. No matter what, no matter where you want to go...” He put his hand around my neck and squeezed. “I’ll beright here.”

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