Page 153 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

She pulled away and looked at me. “You good? Do I need to kill a bitch?”

I laughed and shook my head. “No, I’m being taken care of. But thank you.”

“Becca and Simon are in room five. They’re ready for you.”

“Thanks, Annie.”

She kissed both my cheeks and hugged me again, and I laughed and wiped her lipstick off my face. Annette made her way back to the desk, attempting to resume her calm, collected demeanor.

Reuben put his hand on my shoulder and led me towards room five. His grip seemed a little heavier than it had before.

Before he opened the door, he leaned against it and looked at me again, crossing his arms and staring down at me. Leaning against the door with his arms crossed like that, I barely came up to his elbow. I had to crane my neck to look up at him.

Hot. So hot.

“Now... tell me what you’re afraid of.”

I stared at him, trying to put all that shit I’d come to terms with into words, and ending up with, “Mostly, that I’ll disappoint you.”

He reached out and took my face in his hands, dropping down to one knee to look me in the eye. His voice was quiet and low, barely more than a growl. “You won’t. I’m already so proud of you. You’re walking into a room knowing I might upset and trigger you. That’s a big deal, little bug.”

He brushed my hair out of my eyes and ran his thumb along my lip. “I need you to understand that I adore you. Ineedyou to safeword if you get upset. I will beextremely hurtif I find out you went too far because you were afraid of telling me what you need, or because you don’t want to ruin a scene. It’s just a scene. We can do this as many times as we want, whenever we want. But youmustbe honest with me. Do you understand?”

“Yes Sir.”

I loved watching his face when I called him that. It was like it fed a fire deep inside him.

He took a deep breath and rose to his full height and opened the door. “Go in, check in with your friends. I’m going to wait until Becca gives me the OK to come in. Then we’ll proceed with what we discussed.”

“Okay, Darcy,” I smirked, and snuck past him. He landed a quick smack on my ass and shut the door behind me.

The small playroom was lit with low, yellowish lights. It resembled a grungy shack or cabin and was as close to Woodrow’s playroom as they had. I’d played here before, but they’d removed most of the wall decor and furniture to mimic what I’d described.

Simon was pacing, his thumbs tucked into his pockets. Becca stood beside the rack. They both looked up at me when I came inside.

I felt embarrassed to see them both, but Simon’s face changed from stressed to relieved.He missed me. Of course he missed me. God, I’m such a dick to him.

I smiled and ran to Simon, and he scooped me up in his arms, hugging me tightly. “Don’t you ever fucking hide from me again, Sprite.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, and I realized my throat was thick with emotion. I hugged him back tightly.

An onslaught of memories hit me: the first time I’d drunkenly fallen off the stage and into his lap and the way his eyes had lit up. The first time we had sex, and we both lost the vibe when I said something stupid that made him laugh out loud, and we ended up sharing whiskey and laughing it off. The time I asked him to take charge of my aftercare after my scenes with Michael Lewis, and he’d wholeheartedly agreed. The hours we spent talking and crying and laughing in his tattoo shop while he decorated my skin and turned me into a walking piece of art.All of it flashed through my mind in a split second, and I squeezed him tighter.

Why the hell had I let this relationship fizzle out? Simon was one of my best friends. He always accepted me for who I was, and never judged me other than to call me out on my bullshit. He was nothing but supportive, made sure I had my needs met, and backed me up when other people hurt me.

He’s a damn miracle.

“I love you,” I whispered to him. I may not be in love with Simon, but I knew what this was.

“I love you too, you little demon sprite. Don’t pull that shit again, you understand?”

I nodded and wiped my eyes.Great. I’m crying again. That’s super cool.

“Seriously, Alice. Even if you think I hate you... even if I do. I will always be here for you. I will always help you. I will always kick a fucker’s ass if they hurt you. Even if it’s Reuben. Got it?”

The way he said that meant the world to me. Simon knew I struggled with cutting people off, and he also knew I tended to yo-yo between affection and disgust. “I promise.”

“Can you tell me what he’s about to do to you? Are you clear on what’s happening today?”

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