Page 70 of Girl Violence

She’s kissing him. Kissing the guy who has Josette’s heart.

CHAPTERTWENTY-SEVEN

Standing on the threshold of Vince’s bedroom, hearing fragments of secrets he’s kept from her while his ex-girlfriend kisses him, is like having a fist ram straight into your heart. But worse. So much worse.

The pain is sudden, ripping through her and sucking the air out of her lungs. Suddenly, she’s gasping. Choking. Her eyes burn with tears that won’t stop coming now they’ve started. The anger makes her blood boil hotter than anything she’s ever felt before in her life. It makes her want to lash out with violence but, simultaneously, curl into a ball and cry.

It’s not the betrayal—if you could even call it that, considering they’re nothing but technically friends with benefits. Seeing Elizabeth kiss him isn’t what’s hurting right now. What’s killing her.

While she’d love to sink her nails deep into her scalp and rip her hair out for throwing herself at him, Josette has seen Vince kiss girls. She’s seen the lies rather than felt the pain or jealousy of seeing him with someone else. She knows he doesn’t want her like she wants him. She can see that. But it doesn’t stop her from realising her agony stems from something much deeper.

Something she’s known for a while.

Josette has never been able to shake him over the years. He was gone, but he was always in her mind, never to be forgotten no matter how much she tried. She’s loved him for what feels like her entire life. She loved him like a friend, and since he’s been back, she accidentally fell completely for him even though she promised not to.

He’s right. Her promises are lies. But now Josette knows the truth. No matter their history and how intense they are, she doesn’t mean enough to him to be let in. She will never be good enough for his thoughts. His heart. They started this, but there isn’t an ending. There probably was never meant to be one.

Josette doesn’t care that he pushes Elizabeth away before he sees her at his bedroom door. She’s already made up her mind. If she wants to never feel like this again, she must let go just like he’s let go of her.

Josette moving is what catches his attention, but she’s already gone, rushing down the stairs and throwing open the door.

“Josette—stop!” She hears him behind her as she digs into her bag for her keys, her heart pounding in her ears. She doesn’t want to face him or this. But it’s too late. His hand wraps around her upper arm, and she gasps when he turns her to look at him. Their eyes clash, and the anger in his expression drains when he sees the tears running down her face. “It’s not what it looked like, I swear.”

Josette looks away from him, giving up on finding her keys. Maybe it’s about time she faced this. “I know.”

“You...” He stops. “What?”

“I said I know it’s not what it looked like.” She swallows down a lump of emotion in her throat. Or tries to. God, this pain is unmerciful.

“Elizabeth came to—”

“Offer condolences with her mouth?”

“You heard then?”

“I came to say I was sorry for what I said to you earlier. I was going to let go of the fact that you didn’t tell me about your dad because maybe it hurt you too much to tell me. But I’m beginning to see the truth. You didn’t want to tell me. Just like you don’t want to tell me about everything else in your life.”

“That’s not true,” he says, stepping closer with a frown. “I just…I’m in shock. I don’t know.”

“I get that.” Josette sighs, wiping her tears away. “I don’t know what I heard just now, but I’ve already accepted that you will never tell me. Maybe you think I won’t understand, and maybe it’s why I won’t tell you what happened to me last night. What you tried to force out of me while keeping hold of your own secrets. I can’t rely on you. You keep telling me that we can’t do this. Well, I’m giving you what you want. One less regret.”

Josette goes to turn around, but he grabs her again. “Wait—”

Her patience, not that she has much, snaps, and she pushes her hands into his chest, shoving him hard enough that he stumbles back a little. He appears stunned, but she doesn’t believe the sadness behind his eyes. She can’t. “I’m done, Vince.”

“I’m not,” he argues.

“Then tell me a secret,” she requests. “Tell me something I don’t know. Tell me something that hurts you. That scares you. Because old you used to tell me things like that. Old you used towantto. And it’s holding the new you back from there being an us.”

“I’m not that guy anymore.” He shakes his head. “All that you just overheard is in the past. There’s no point.”

“Then there’s no point in this.” Josette turns around, and her hands shake as she finally locates her keys. Can’t he see that there is a point when it’s still affecting him? That it’s stopping him from being truly hers?

“That’s it then?” he calls after her as she slots her key into the lock. She glances over her shoulder but can’t look him in the eye. Instead, she nods.

That’s it. They had barely begun, but that’s it.

Her bottom lip shakes as she rushes inside and closes the door. The pain cripples her the moment she can’t see his face. It almost makes her rip back open the door and run out to him. Tell him she didn’t mean it and that she’s sorry. But she doesn’t.

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