Page 71 of Girl Violence

Her body vibrates with shock. She wasn’t prepared to lose Vince today, and it feels worse than when he left the first time because she’s the one walking away from him this time. She just wishes it felt like she’s done the right thing because right now, it doesn’t.

It doesn’t at all.

* * *

The daysthat pass are nothing but painful. It’s the worst kind of pain Josette has ever experienced in her life. Of barely eating or sleeping or functioning. Especially whenever she catches sight of Vince in the distance or hears his car outside her bedroom window.

David’s having his burial in Graycott since he was born here, and it’s what he wanted. Today’s the funeral, and her dad is going. He wants Josette to go with him, but he doesn’t push when she tells him no. Maybe because he knows something happened between her and Vince after coming home from work the day of their argument and finding her ugly crying on the couch with a pile of sodden tissues piled beside her.

He sat beside her, staring at her uncomfortably while she sobbed, finally asking, “What’s going on, Jo?”

“N-Nothing,” she replied mid-sob, but right then, it was like her world was falling around her. In just one day, not only had she lost Vince, but she’d also lost Jenna. She had never felt so alone in her life.

He sighed. “It doesn’t look like nothing.”

“I’m just so... so sick of everything.”

Reaching over, he squeezed her fingers. “We all get like this sometimes. It’s—”

“Oh, God. Please don’t even say becauseit’s life.” She snatches her hand away. “I’ve already had the world’s biggest lecture off Miss Finn today. I’m apparently a terrible person and don’t give a shit about anyone other than myself, which isn’t true. I care too much about everyonebutmyself. I really don’t need the stupid reality talk from you.”

“I’m not trying to give you a lecture,” he says calmly. “I just want to know why my daughter is crying.”

Josette’s not sure why, but when he called her his daughter, it made her break down and cry even more. Maybe because they haven’t been father and daughter in so long, even acknowledging that she’s his daughter was enough to make her even more emotional.

“I’m sorry I’ve been a horrible daughter,” Josette said, unsure why it was coming out just then. She wasn’t making sense and knew she was feeling incredibly sorry for herself.

He put his arm around her shoulder and shocked her by kissing her forehead.

“You’re not a horrible daughter.” She raised her head and eyed him dubiously, making him breathe a laugh. “Okay, you’re a little hard work, but I wouldn’t have you any other way. I’ve not exactly been a great father. I don’t know how to do anything other than work.”

“It’s okay, I get it.” Josette wiped her face, exhausted, her eyes sore and her nose blocked.

“I should try harder, especially since that’s why your mum left me.” He paused. “Now, are you going to tell me why you’re crying?”

“Vince,” she muttered. “He...um...”

She couldn’t find the words.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he replied, and she raised her eyebrow at him. “I may not have a clue about parenting, but I’m not blind. I see how he looks at you, so I know things have been happening. He cared a lot about you back in the day. Still does now.”

“I don’t know anymore,” she whispered, leaning her head against the couch, her eyelids getting heavy. “He’s changed so much.”

“Everybody changes, Jo.”

She nodded and sardonically said, “Because that’s just life, right?”

He gazed at her sadly. “Unfortunately, it is.”

After their conversation, he went out. Josette cried some more until she had no more tears left. She hadn’t moved from the couch. When he returned fifteen minutes later, he dumped a bag of chocolate and other sugary goodies beside her.

She’d smiled at him with watery eyes, and he smiled back. If that wasn’t enough, he later brought her a cup of coffee before heading into his study to work. He might not be her mum, but he was her dad, who didn’t know how to say the right things yet brought her treats and made her coffee.

The next day, Josette forced herself to get up and prepare for her shift at the library. She wasn’t sure if she was welcome after Miss Finn’s lecture, but she didn’t want to complicate anything.

Miss Finn didn’t say a word as Josette entered the building. She picked up a box and started working. When her shift was over, Josette grabbed her things and left, going straight home and getting into bed.

That evening, her dad came into her room to tell her Diane asked if they would come to the funeral. She hadn’t seen Vince other than briefly. He hasn’t tried to see her. While the rational part of her brain reasons that he’s probably busy with the preparations for the funeral, the irrational side of her thinks that’s bullshit.

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