Page 29 of Who I Crave To Be

"Kelley," she croaks, clearing her throat and some more of that fire returns to her gaze.

"He looks just like you, full of wonder and mischief," I smirk, tracing her jawline with my thumb."Who's his father?"

Shame enters her dark depths as she turns her head, looking away from me and horror sits heavy in my core.The sadness that emanates from her is enough to tell me that whoever got her pregnant, wasn't somebody she wanted to become pregnant by.I don't need her to voice her terror, I can feel it like it's my own.

"It's okay, baby, we don't have to talk about it," I rasp, drawing her attention to me as she narrows her eyes in disbelief.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"I question.

"Always justknow," she replies.

"Because I know you, because Iseeyou.You don't run away from your family, Haven.You don't run away from your son.You run to escape an unsettled part of your soul which becomes restless in the quiet.You hide it, not telling your family where you go, what you do, because you fear they won't understand it.I know that.You don't have to run from me though, baby.Because together we can have it all," I vow, kissing her deeply as I push my body against hers.She fits me perfectly, mewling into mouth as she lifts her leg to sit on my hip.I grip her thigh, holding her to me.

"You know I play make belief often?"she whispers and I chuckle.

"I had a feeling a weekend wouldn't be enough."

"Never like this, there's never been another you, Deano.It was never about romance and always about taking a bite out of life," she promises, desperate for me to know she doesn't sleep around strong in her voice.

"I believe you," I growl, loving that I'm the only one.I kiss her again, hard and fast with every bit of emotion swelling within me.

"I was 20, walking home from the library when the attack happened.Two weeks later, I was pregnant with Kelley.He doesn't know.He's only four," she explains, breaking the kiss and refusing to meet my eyes.

"You don't have to," I offer softly but she cuts me off, my fierce woman, owning her strength.

"Yes, I do.Because if we do this, you have to understand what you're getting.You have to know it's all or nothing," she insists.

"I'm already all in, baby, with you and with Kelley.But I'm listening."

"I know most people can't make that decision.That there's so many fucking emotions that drown us when we're put in that position, I know because I felt them all.But nothing was going to change what had happened to me.I was always going to feel him, hear him and carry him with me… My attacker.I was never going to be free from that night," she gasps, choking on another sob thick in the back of her throat as she swipes away the tears.I pull her into my chest, hand cupping the back of her head as I hold her close and rock her through her harrowing tale."And this baby?The baby that was now growing life inside of me was more a part of me than it could ever be a part of him.It was a life that was blooming inside of me, aninnocentlife and I'll never regret my decision.My son is the best thing to ever happen to me.He's the air in my lungs and the smile on my lips.My heart outside of my chest and Deano, he's so sweet and caring.So funny."She offers me a watery smile and I smile back, peppering her smooth face with soft kisses."He's everything and to have me, is to have him.I don’t hate my life, Deano, I adore it.But sometimes, I just need to be me.”

I assume she expects the ultimatum will have me balking and packing my bags, but she's wrong.I know she cherishes all that she has.It doesn’t make her cruel to sometimes set back.It makes her human.

And, at the end of it all, it won’t be my bags we’ll be packing.

"Got it.Done deal, baby.So are we living here? I'm down with that, but I'm sure Kelley will love it much more back at the house you have filled with your scent and now has become my paradise."I smirk, and she whacks me on the shoulder.

"You're insane.You know that?"

"Only for you, baby."

"I'm a mother, you're certifiable if you think you don't have to earn your way into my son's life,darling," she sasses, pushing at my chest and creating distance between us.“Here, responsibility and good parenting come before everything else.Even my own happiness.”

"You're a lioness protecting her cub.A warrior who owns her scars.A seductress with the power to bring me to my knees and the strongest woman I know.Do you really think I'd expect anything less?"I taunt, smacking her ass and claiming her lips one last time."Will you at least let us play Spiderman?I think my little bud will make a wicked spider monkey."

I think Kelley and I will get on well.If he's anything like his mother, he’ll be nothing but a fun riot to hang out with.

A cackle comes from behind the door and Haven yanks it open, depositing an eavesdropping Anna to her knees.

"Yo.So yeah, I'm the best friend.The sister.I'm a part of the deal too.Soul sisters and all that.Chicks before pricks and all.You need to earn my approval, pretty boy," Anna insists, staying planted on her knees with her arms folded across her chest and a stern look in her eyes.

"You work at my club," I muse, smiling down at her.

"Oh fuck," she gasps, staring at Haven like she's grown two heads."You met him at Pussy Liquor?Damn girl.I'll get the wine.You have a story you got to tell."

Six months later.

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