Page 9 of Lavender and Lightning

“Why not? You were going to at the end of the year, anyway,” he returns, confusion heavy.

I let out a distinctly unattractive scoff of a laugh. “Yeah, because my lease would be up at the end of the year,” I retort.

“Right, so what’s the difference of a few months?” Rhett asks back.

“An enormous early termination fee is the difference,” I sputter, blinking rapidly at him.

He looks back at me blandly, as if expecting me to say more. And there are more words flying through my head, but I can’t pin them down long enough to make coherent sentences. Warning bells are blaring in the depths of my mind, but not from my primal instincts. If anything, the primal, purely omega part of my mind wants nothing more than to retreat into a mountain of soft things and let my alphas take care of all the terrifying monsters lurking in the shadows.

These warning bells are the ones that years of trauma and recovery have planted. The ones that are screaming not to let people I’ve known for less than a year talk me into being reliant on them for my housing and care. I’ve learned this lesson before, and I can’t,won’t,let myself get caught again.

“No. I can’t,” I say at last, putting as much resolve into my voice as I can.

“It’s just money, love. We have plenty, and it’s not—”

“You’re not getting it, Rhett,” I spit through gritted teeth, cutting him off.

My body feels overly warm, and I try to shake off Mateo’s hold. When he doesn’t let go, my heart sets off again. My hands shake, and the world seems to spin for a moment. Getting my chest to expand enough to take a full breath is a labor, and I blink back tears.

“I won’t ever put a price tag on your safety, Lydia. And with Seth and Darren, and now this stalker knowing where you live, we both know that you’ll never feel safe there again. So let me, let us, handle this. Please,” Rhett goes on, voice exasperated but rich with a soothing purr.

Even still, the words sound like they’re coming from the other end of a wrapping paper tube. Safe is relative. I can get safe on my own. I was safe on my own. The omega part of me craves to melt at the sound, to just agree and stop fighting. But those instincts nearly got me killed. Better to listen to the claxon screaming over and over.

Trapped. Trapped. Trapped.

“What’s wrong?” Mateo asks, pulling back to spin me around.

When I look up into his face, all the handsome features heavy with worry, I have to blink and look away. The ceiling above him seems to be getting closer, the walls shifting in. Not again. Never again.

“I just… no, I’m not doing it. I can’t. Not again. No,” I ramble, shaking my head.

I can sense all of their eyes on me like phantom touches and I can’t stand it a moment longer. Turning on my heel, I rush to the door leading down to the basement, ignoring Rhett’s call for me to stop as I slam the door behind me.

five

Mateo

Asthesoundofthe slamming door echoes into the silence, I turn my glare on Rhett. He has the decency to look a little ashamed of himself, but there’s still a hard glint in his eyes that I don’t like.

“What the hell was that?” I demand, leaning on my fists toward him.

“Don’t act like you don’t agree with me. If it were up to you, she would have moved in three weeks ago,” he returns with a roll of his eyes.

“That’s not what I mean, and you fucking know it,” I growl, shoulders rising defensively.

He returns the glare, but I don’t back down. Just because I love Rhett like a brother, it doesn’t mean that I won’t teach him a lesson if he needs it. He’s right about my feelings toward Lydia’s living situation, but he can’t make demands like this. Not to mention blatantly ignoring her distress just to push his decision on to her.

“What he’s saying is that there’s a right and a wrong way to bring up something as big as this,” Lex interjects.

“And you think I’m wrong? You think we should let her go back to that apartment?” Rhett questions, voice rising.

“No, but–”

“Because once she’s medically clear, you know she’s not going to tolerate us being around her like we have. Which means she’ll be alone, and that fucker is still out there,” he says, voice cracking slightly.

I blink, my anger slipping away. The burning paper scent of his fear hits me a moment later, and I soften more.

“I get that, I really do. But there are better ways to bring that up,” Lucas says when Lex and I don’t continue.

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