Page 10 of Lavender and Lightning

Rhett runs his hands roughly through his hair, exhaling sharply. “I’m such a fucking asshole. What is wrong with me?”

Lex opens her mouth, but I shoot her a glare that reads “not the fucking time.” She smirks and tilts her head in acknowledgement.

“I’ve never felt like this before. I was ready to start throwing hands with the police if they tried to stop us from getting out of there. And I blew our one real shot to give her true protection,” Rhett goes on.

“She knows you mean well, Rhett. And you can apologize after you’ve had time to cool down. She’ll understand,” I tell him soothingly.

Rhett nods, not looking at any of us. After a long moment, he pushes off the counter.

“I’ll be in the gym if anyone needs me,” he grumbles, stalking out of the kitchen.

Lucas, Lex, and I wait until the mudroom door opens and closes before letting out a unified breath. Rhett would beat himself up in the gym for a while, but he’d be okay. But Lydia…

“We’re all on the same page with his idea, though, right?” Lex asks, voice barely above a whisper.

I sigh, looking at Lucas. His lips press into a thin line as he considers, head tilting from side to side as he walks through the debate in his head. For my part, the answer is easy. Of course, I think Lydia should move in. Having her here would make keeping her safe from Seth and Darren that much easier. But I won’t force that on her, not if it means potentially causing a rift between us and her.

“Why does she have to give it up? What’s the harm in letting her keep making payments but leaving it empty while she lives with us?” Lucas asks thoughtfully.

“It wouldn’t be right, and she belongs here with her pack, where it’s safer,” Lex says sternly.

“All the same, it’s still a lot to ask. She’s not going to take the sudden change well,” Lucas goes on, hopping down off the counter and moving closer.

“What do you mean?” I ask, words coming out quicker in my concern.

“Omegas need stability, security. Even in the best circumstances, it’s probably going to take weeks for Lydia’s instincts to consider this home,” he replies, crossing his arms over his chest.

“We can up security for the development, tell people there’s been some reports of disturbances. If Lydia stays here, then—”

“That’s not what I mean,” Lucas interjects, cutting across Lex before her planning gets too far. “Her head will know she’s safe. We could walk her through every protocol and patrol, but her omega nature is still going to need time to adjust. If we’re going to insist on her moving in, we owe it to her to try to make the transition as smooth as possible.”

I nod, looking at the basement door again. Lex and Lucas continue on about ways to help Lydia adjust, but their words fade to background noise. The pull to go to her has been growing steadily, and I’ve reached the end of my patience. I cross the room, unbuttoning my jacket and loosening my tie as I descend the stairs. I drape both over the back of one of the low couches in the sitting room outside of Lydia’s room. The sunlight streams through the patio doors, casting blocks of warm light on the carpet. Lydia’s door is cracked slightly, and I nudge it open, letting the creak of the hinge announce my presence.

“May I come in?” I ask, poking my head through the door.

It only takes a moment to find Lydia sprawled on her back in the middle of the massive custom mattress that fits into the expanded window seat platform. Her eyes are closed, but she nods anyway. As I slip through the gap, I close the door quietly, toeing off my dress shoes next to the door.

“I’m sorry I’m an ungrateful, dramatic asshole,” she drones, not looking at me.

“No one thinks you’re being dramatic, or ungrateful. And you are certainly not the asshole in this situation,” I say with an ironic chuckle.

I lower myself onto the edge of her bed, moving slowly enough for her to tell me to stop. When she doesn’t, I lean down and lie on my side, facing her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I offer gently.

Lydia lets out a shaky sigh, her good hand scrubbing her face angrily. She’s quiet for a long stretch, but I let her have the space. She doesn’t need me to push, or she’s liable to shut down, which is the last thing I want right now. At last, she turns her head to look me in the eye. At the edge of her hairline, the faint blue-purple of a bruise still lingers, and the scabs from cuts on her neck. I fight the urge to touch her, to wrap her so tight in my arms it would be impossible to tell where I end and she begins. Even the traces of her injuries make my primal mind want to bury her away where no one could ever find her and hurt her again.

“It’s not that I don’t want to live here, but I just…” Lydia trails off with a deep sigh, closing her eyes tight.

My heart lurches as she hesitates. I need her to finish that thought, but the longer the silence goes on, the less I want to know. Does she not want us? Want this? Is she rethinking joining the pack?

“The last roommate I had before I moved in with Darren was on the top, bottom, and middle of his shit list. He would tell me that she talked about me behind my back, and secretly hated my guts, and all sorts of other really nasty stuff. I never confronted her about it, but in the back of my head, I was always reading into every interaction, looking for the ulterior motive. The therapist I had for a few months when I first moved to Everton told me it was triangulation. He used the rift he created between us as part of the pitch for us to move in together so quickly. I could get away from my shitty roommate and spend more time with him, a win-win,” she drones, voice distant even as her eyes stay closed.

Anger burns in my stomach, and I manage to contain my fury to just gritting my teeth and clenching my fists. The more I hear about the hell Lydia went through, the more I’m considering taking Rhett up on his plan to drive to Louisiana and help Darren find a swamp to get lost in permanently.

“I need my space, Matty. I don’t… I can’t go back to that place,” she whispers.

Unable to resist anymore, I close the distance between us and slide one arm under her neck and wrap the other around her waist, pulling her into my chest. She turns onto her right side, nuzzling her nose into the space between my neck and shoulder on instinct. I run my fingers through her hair, just taking the moment to appreciate the absolutely remarkable woman in my arms.

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