Page 104 of Duke, Actually

“Still in Innsbruck.”

“Ah.” He didn’t ask any more questions, probably because Max still being in Innsbruck perfectly illustrated Seb’s assertion that he was hiding.

“So you come out, and then what?” Max prompted. “You said,firstwe stop hiding. What’s next?”

“Next we live our lives the way we want to. If Mother and Father don’t like it, if they make it too miserable, we live our lives somewhere else. And Mother and Father aside, if we need to go somewhere else—New York, for example—to live our lives the way we want to, then we do that.”

“What about the company? What about your job? If it doesn’t go well, you know Father will have you sacked.”

Seb made a noncommittal noise. “I became one of the world’s foremost experts on mining remediation while no one was paying attention. I’ll get another job.”

“But—”

“You, though, I don’t know.” Seb snorted. “You don’t have any actual skills. You can come live with me if you can’t fix things with Dani.”

“Sebastien.” Max forced some older-brother gravitas into his tone. “Where is all this coming from?”

“It’s coming from spending two weeks not looking over my shoulder. It’s coming from spending two weeks being happy.”

The idea that Seb was so suddenly, and so utterly, happy buoyed Max. “You’re just going to tell them you’re gay?” He already knew the answer. “But later, after I get home,” he added quickly.

“I’m just going to tell them,” Seb confirmed. “And yes, I’ll wait until you get home.” Max could hear the smile in Seb’s voice again.

“Aren’t you afraid?”

“Of course I’m afraid. I’d be an idiot not to be. But ultimately, you have to ask yourself—and I’m talking aboutyou, not the proverbial you—is that fear worth more to you than what’s potentially on the other side of it?”

Well. Max allowed himself, for a moment, to imagine that—the other side of the fear. “But if I... went to New York.” It was hard to say it. “I would have to come back when he dies.” Despite what Seb said, Max would never walk away and leave him to deal with the dukedom.

“Perhaps. But perhaps there’s more than one way to be a duke. And you know who gets to decide about that?”

Max chuckled. “The duke?”

“Exactly. But don’t think that far ahead. Get a place in New York. Come and go. You travel so much anyway. Will it really be all that different? When Father dies, we’ll make a plan.We’llmake a plan. Even if you’re the one inheriting, it’s not your burden alone.”

Max heaved a shaky breath. It sounded pathetic to his own ears, but he was so bowled over. By Dani, and now by this. This allyship that should not be a surprise but somehow was.

“Max.” Seb’s tone was fond but a touch exasperated. “I love you, but you’re making this harder than it has to be.”

“I don’t even know if she’ll have me. Forget that, I don’t even know if she’ll ever speak to me again.” That was the crux of thematter. He could go to New York, yes, but what was he going to say to Dani when he got there? Double down, except this time lead with “I love you” and hope it turned out better? Or just try to get everything back to what it had been?

Although... perhaps whether Dani would have him or notwasn’tthe crux of the matter. It felt like the most important thing in the world, but perhaps what Seb was suggesting had its own logic.

Was Max ready to do everything Seb was talking about—was he ready to remake his life and his reputation—without Dani? He had been thinking about how she was worth it. But for him to upend his life so utterly,hehad to be worth it, too, didn’t he?

“Uh, hello?”

Dani shook her head. She was talking to Sinéad. Theoretically. She hadn’t been listening, and Sinéad was holding her beer aloft in what looked like a paused toast. Dani lifted her glass and clinked it against Sinéad’s, but after setting it down and realizing she’d forgotten to take a sip, she had to reverse course.

“That is the most pathetic toast I’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She took a sip. It had been just over two weeks since she’d gotten home from Eldovia, and she was trying to do the things that a person did when she was not heartbroken.

One of those things was go to the holiday party, even though going to a work party without Max feltwrong. Another one of those things was reconnect with local friends. She’d been emotionally absent all summer and fall. So she’d invited Sinéad out for an early dinner before the party and now they were standing at the bar in the faculty club waiting for the shindig to begin.

“What’s the matter with you?” Sinéad asked.

Dani lowered her voice. “What if I don’t want to be a professor anymore?” She couldn’t believe she was saying this out loud. “What if I want to do something else?”

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