Page 1 of Duke, Actually

Chapter One

When Dani Martinez woke up on Friday the tenth of December, she thought,It’s going to be a good day.

And then she thought,Liar.

But whatever, just because it was the last Friday of the semester and she was about to be inundated with forty-seven essays onThe(Not So)Great Gatsby, it didn’t necessarily follow that today was going to bebad.

So she hadn’t done a lick of Christmas shopping, forget the fruitcake she was supposed to have started months ago. That didn’t mean this particular day wasautomaticallygoing to suck.

And just because the cherry on top of the day was going to be the English department’s holiday party, at which she would “get” to see her still-not-quite ex-husband with his trade-in trollop didn’t mean— Ah, forget it. This day was going to becrap.

Her phone dinged. It would be Leo, which would be a fortifying way to start this all-downhill-from-here day. Because of the time difference between New York and Eldovia, they often talked early in the mornings New York time. Dani missed Leo and hissister, Gabby, something fierce, missed being able to go across the hall and have coffee in the mornings. Sometimes, before she was caffeinated, she forgot he wasn’t there anymore. And then it would hit her anew: her best friend lived in Eldovia, where he wasengaged to a princess. Dani was going to be his best woman in the fall at a freakingroyal wedding.

Eyeing the slumbering ball of fur next to her, Dani executed a slo-mo roll to grab her phone from the nightstand—she wanted the ball of fur to stay slumbering until she’d had coffee.

The text was not from Leo.Good morning. It’s Max von Hansburg. Marie gave me your number. I’m in New York for a few days. Can I take you to dinner tonight?

Speaking of royal weddings. Dani blinked, surprised to hear from Max, who was Princess Marie’s best friend—and her ex-fiancé. Despite having been thrown over in favor of Leo, Max was currently scheduled to serve as Marie’s man of honor in the wedding.

Marie and Max’s past was like a telenovela, complete with glittering balls, arranged marriages, and conniving parents. Leo had crash-landed in the middle of it, getting swept up in a gender-swapped Cinderella story that had made even Dani’s stone-cold heart defrost a degree or two. Except in this version, Cinderella had left a bestie behind in the ashes. Or maybe Leo had passed the Cinderella mantle on to Dani?

Max—Dog Max, the main Max in Dani’s life—did one of his signature snore-snorts. Look, she even had an animal companion like Cinderella, except hers didn’t flit around helping with the tidying.

Max:The concierge at my hotel can get us into Momofuku Ko. I could send a car for you.

The thaw in Dani’s heart did not extend to Human Max, who, in addition to being a member of the Eldovian aristocracy, was insufferable.“I could send a car for you.”What, like this wasPretty Woman? She considered the various ways she could decline his invitation. In the end, she went with brusque efficiency.

Dani:No.

Max:Lunch?

Dani:No.

Max:A drink?

Dani:No.

Max:Coffee?

Dani:Coffee is a drink.

Max:So that’s still no?

Dani:Yes.

Max:Yes that’s still no, or yes you’ll have coffee with me?

Dani:Listen, dude. Or should I say listen, duke?

Ha! She cracked herself up. She sat up against her headboard to allow for easier texting, eyeing Dog Max, whose breathing did not change.

Max:Baron, actually.

She knew that. She’d googled Maximillian von Hansburg when she met him in Eldovia last summer. He was, despite his personality, unnaturally good-looking. And, really, who wouldn’t respond to meeting a baron by googling said baron? She had learned that he was low-level famous—or should she say infamous?—in European circles for being a globe-trotting, womanizing playboy. The European tabloids called him the Depraved Duke, which as far as she could tell was a nickname that originated when he was photographed frolicking with a mystery woman while wearing an adult onesie on the deck of a yacht during the Cannes Film Festival.

Max:My father has to shuffle off this mortal coil before I attain dukedom, and I can report that he is in fine health.

Dani:Okay, but here’s my point: I am post-men. As I told you last summer.

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