“All right, let’s cut this meeting short then. We can reconvene when we dock at the next stop—wherever we’re off to next.”
* * *
Penn: Care to tell me why Sera is crying?
Bryce: NOYFB
Penn: Mature. Except it is my business. You made it my business.
Bryce: How on earth did I make this your business? I’ll handle it. Worry about your own wife.
Penn: Just tell me why she’s upset and I’ll leave you be.
Penn: I don’t want to get into a pissing contest w/you
* * *
Since he wasn’t going to leave me alone, I picked up the damn phone and called him.
“So what happened?” Penn asked in place of a greeting.
“I was planning on proposing to Sarah with an H on the cruise.”
“Damn.”
I heard Penn breathe on the other line.
“That’s not all of it.” I massaged away the tension in my forehead as I continued, “I may have bought a wedding dress and had it sent to the cruise line because it was on backorder. I wanted to propose in Antarctica and get married in Greenland. So we’d have both ends of the earth covered.”
“Bryce, in my forty years I never took you for a romantic. A player? Yes. One that didn’t want to be tied down? Absofuckinglutely. Was I shocked when you said you wanted what Tillie and I have—damn skippy I was. But this takes it to a totally different stratosphere.”
“Can you please tamp down the histrionics and just do whatever the fuck you planned to-do when you insisted I tell you what was wrong.”
“Did you really love Sarah with an H? Like truly. Did you love her or were you in love with the thought of being in love?”
I had no idea anymore. I was so fucked up inside. I felt like I didn’t even know who I was.
“Penn, I’ve spent the past two months telling Sera that I love her. And I have no idea where my feelings for her start and the feelings with Sarah with an H end.”
“Jesus, Bryce! This is exactly what I told you not to do. You better go find her. It’s the least you can do for being a shitty asshole.”
I didn’t know what I’d even say when I found her. Probably an apology for hiding in the conference room like a damn chicken. But after that I didn’t know if I should be apologizing for still having feelings to sort through about the other Sarah or if I was supposed to be apologizing for indulging in a fantasy. Was it a fantasy though?
The conference room was situated just down the hall from the main entrance of the theater. People were exiting as if it were the end of a show, so I figured I’d hang there just in case that’s where she went. The crowd turned to a trickle and still no Sera. I’d been about to head in the direction of our room when I caught movement up by the stage.
There she was with that songbird Omar. His hand was on her cheek, it looked from where I stood like a caress. In the millisecond it took for me to do a double take he had her pulled against his chest in a hug.
I wasn’t that guy. The one who stands and leers and pulls his dick out and pounds his chest. I didn’t even have a right to have those kinds of feelings given I’d practically compared her to Sarah and told her I didn’t know if I even had feelings for her—and then ghosted.
“I nearly walked past because I figured there was no way you’d want to be in a crowd of people when you’re upset. I guess I don’t know you as well as I thought I did.”
I sauntered down the main aisle towards the two of them. It took every smidgeon of willpower to remain unaffected. Every cell in my body wanted to scream Why him! Why is he your confidant?
“I’ve been worried about you!”
The muscles around her eyes morphed from tense to surprised to relief all in a nanosecond. At east her face couldn’t lie. I knew she wasn’t Sarah but seeing her with Omar hurt.
“So worried you came straight to your friend the lounge singer so he could play a sad song while you sang the blues?” I asked, hating myself as soon as the words came out.