Page 72 of Purity

I’m too emotionally exhausted to lie. “A dress and a tube of eyeliner.”

“Why did Cole have them?”

“He picked them up from Mari’s friend’s house,” Vanessa says quickly. My heart clenches that she’s trying to cover for me even when I don’t really need it.

I’m done behaving like a child.

My dad keeps his gaze fixed on me. “I don’t think that’s where she really went. Why have I never heard of this Brenna until now? And why did you come home early?” He shakes his head. “I think you stayed at Cole’s house.”

My last nerve snapping, I lift my chin and stare up at my dad. “It’s none of your business if I did.”

“So this is how it is now? Staying overnight with men.” His nostrils flare. “I never saw this coming. I don’t know where my daughter went.”

I grit my teeth. “Your daughter is right here.”

“This isn’t the daughter I raised. The daughter I raised would know that staying overnight at a man’s house can lead to her losing everything she’s worked hard to protect. I pray to God you aren’t so far gone that you’ve given up everything, but you’re heading in that direction. You know you are. You’re becoming just like Mari.”

A flush of adrenaline rages through my veins. “And Mari’s a bad person?”

His expression grows grim. “She’s fallen away from the Lord, and it shows. Hector is like a brother to me, and she’s breaking his heart. I just hope you don’t break mine.”

His condemnation of Mari for living like a regular college student is enough. I can’t handle this anymore.

“Well, you should probably add me to your prayer list then. I don’t plan on abstaining from sex anymore.”

My dad’s entire posture changes, his spine growing rigid. His hands drop to his sides. “I pray to God that isn’t true.” His voice is tight.

I huff out a humorless laugh. “I just told you it’s true. Believe me.”

My dad is utterly still. There’s something strange about his expression as he stares steadily at me… His face crumples inward. He buries his head in his hands, and his shoulders start to shake rapidly. I stare at him for a moment, my head growing fuzzy.

The sound of his cry registers, and a chill runs down my spine. It’s high pitched and strange. I’ve never really seen my dad cry. At most, I’ve seen him with red, teary eyes and a bit of a grimace. I’ve certainly never heard it.

When my daze clears, I snap into action. I rush over to him and wrap my arms around him. “It’s okay, Dad. I’m still me.”

“You were my little girl,” he says, or I think he does. His voice is muffled through his sobs.

Under different circumstances, I might try to have a blunt discussion with him about how purity culture teaches men to infantilize their grown daughters, but I can’t right now. Not while he’s weeping.

Instead, I squeeze him tightly. “I still am. This has nothing to do with my relationship with you. You’re still my hero, just like you were when I was little.”

It’s only a partial truth. Over the last year, my dad has become much more human than hero in my eyes, but right now, he needs my comfort.

“Dad.” It’s Vanessa’s gentle voice. When I glance up, she’s standing a few feet away, her brow furrowed. She hates seeing him like this as much as I do. “We love you more than anything, but we’re becoming adults now. We have to figure out things for ourselves. That’s what God wants for us, too.”

“It happened too fast,” he says. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”

Goodness, he sounds so young. I shoot my sister a sad smile, and she returns it. How strange that we’re here comforting our father who once seemed like the king of the world. No one but God was bigger than him in our youth.

Hours later, I lie in my bed with my sister next to me. She asked to spend the night in my room, probably because she’s worried about me after the turmoil of the day.

“Ness,” I whisper, “Are you awake?”

“Yeah.” Her voice is faint.

“What am I going to do if Cole begs to be in a relationship with me?”

She clears her throat. “Do you think that’s what he’s going to do?”

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