Page 13 of Purity

Fuck.

I grip her shoulders and shove her away, turning around while I catch my breath. When I lift a hand to run it through my hair, my gaze is drawn to my fingers.

I’m shaking.

I’m actually shaking…from a kiss.

When I turn around, her lips are wet and pink, and the sight of them sends a fire into my belly. God, I need to get away from her soon, before I’m compelled to do it again.

“That was a really good kiss,” she says with a sweet little smile.

The sight of her slightly disheveled hair and big trusting brown eyes makes me want to burst out of my skin. Why does she have to be so tempting?

I can’t do this. Not if I want her in my life long term. Not if I want her forever.

I have to resist her.

FIVE

Livvy

“How did it go?” Mari asks on the drive home. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her wide grin. She must be able to sense my excitement.

That kiss. My goodness, that kiss.

“I’ll tell you everything when we get to my house. If my sister is still up, I want to be able to tell her too.”

“I knew it! It’s good news.”

I smile. “Maybe.”

“Shit!” Mari glances out the passenger window. “We’re in your neighborhood. Do I smell like alcohol?”

Her warm breath tickles my face, and I wrinkle my nose. “A little bit, but don’t worry. My parents are probably asleep. And they won’t say anything even if they can tell you’re drunk.”

She snorts. “Not to me, but you know our dads talk. Have you heard about their Christian bro dates? Apparently, they get together once a month to play tennis, get lunch at California Pizza Kitchen—how like our dads is that?—and then pray for me. In that order. Every time. My mom very passive aggressively told me all about it the other day.”

A sad smile rises to my lips. I didn’t know that was what my dad and Hector did when they hung out, but it sounds very like them. “They’re praying for something they don’t understand.”

“I know, but it’s annoying, and it’s only because my parents know I party and suspect I’ve had sex before. Can you imagine what they would do if they found out I’m an atheist?”

I purse my lips to the side. “Have you ever thought about telling them?”

She snorts. “Fuck, no. It’ll be like sophomore year when my mom found my vibrator. She’ll invite all my tias over, and they’ll have another hour long prayer session.”

A giggle bursts from my chest. “I forgot about that.”

“My parents have no chill, so there’s no point in telling them anything. I don’t mind going to church with them every once in a while. Have you seen the new First Covenant worship leader?”

I shake my head. “He started after I left. Vanessa told me he’s hot.”

“Oh my God, Livvy. Hot does not do him justice. I want to corrupt him. Fantasizing about it is the only thing that gets me through the sermon.”

I giggle. “I think you could, too. He’s probably never met a woman who owns her sexuality like you do. He’d be mesmerized.”

“Or he’d be terrified. My parents would definitely be terrified to know I think about things like this. They’d murder me.”

“They think it’s a sin just having normal sexual thoughts. Speaking of which…” I sigh heavily as I pull into my driveway. “I’m so nervous to tell my parents I’m done with purity culture. I’m dreading it. It makes me sick to my stomach even thinking about.”

---