Page 32 of Rescued

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CAIMBRIE

Herod took a step back in astonishment, and I sneered, glad to have the upper hand for what was to come.

The truth was, I was scared. All this time, he’d been telling me that it was just another day or two before I was with Tayla and Adreax, but never once did he ask me if that was what I wanted. He talked about this like it was going to be some great union with old friends, but I didn’t know any of the women I had been locked up with, and I sure as hell didn’t know the two heroes who were supposed to have rescued me. For what it was worth, I had grown comfortable with Herod over the last few days, and the thought of leaving seemed unbearable.

“I heard what you said earlier. I heard everything. You just can’t wait to get rid of me, can you? And for what? So you can go chase money? How do I know that they’re not just selling me off to some other twisted bad guy? Perhaps you’ve already arranged it with one of your other criminal buddies.”

My voice rose with every question, and I had even started to uncurl myself from the cocoon of the blanket wrapped around me, leaning forward so I could see his confused expression.

“Caimbrie, it’s not like that. You knew this was the plan.”

I wasn’t going to hear it. Not now. Not ever again.

“Oh? It’s not like that, you say? When has it ever been anything but that? From the moment you dragged me onto this ship, you’ve done nothing but chase money and fantasize about being the kind of captain that Adreax was before Tayla. Well, I have news for you. You’ll never be Adreax, because Adreax cared about someone other than himself. But you’re so busy harboring fugitives and hiding in the shadows, you can’t even imagine what it would be like to think of anyone else’s feelings, can you? Have you even considered that even if they are who you say they are, I don’t want to go with them?”

I was crying and my face was hot. Tears streamed down my cheeks and landed on my balled-up fists in my lap. Herod stood across from me, his expression one of bewilderment.

I knew what he had been expecting. He’d been expecting to come back here and let me down easy, maybe wipe away my tears and assure me that some other time, in some other universe, this may have worked. He would say he was sorry, and that he would miss me, but this was the end for us. And I was supposed to be docile and accepting, nodding along with his words and accepting his well-wishes as my consolation prize. But that wasn’t how this was going down.

“Now that’s not fair, and you know it. This is about my survival. I can’t just drop everything and pretend to be a model boyfriend, or whatever you’re after. I brought you aboard because I had to save us both, but I never planned on giving up my life.”

His words were grim, disappointed, like he had expected better of me. But I didn’t care. I wasn’t done yet. I was still fuming, and he was still standing there gawking at me like I was crazy.

“So that’s how it is, huh? First you tell Adreax that you’re ready to be rid of me. And now you’re telling me that the other night was just a big misunderstanding? I should have known better,” I hissed. “I should have known that a man who spends his whole life alone and chasing money would never concern himself with the feelings of a woman like me. The mistake was all mine. I was scared and alone, and I let my guard down, but if you hadn’t almost gotten me killed, I wouldn’t have thrown myself at you at all! What would I even want with a man who can’t see what’s right in front of his face?”

I was shaking I was so angry, and I wanted him to leave, but he didn’t turn away. No matter how many words I hurled at him, all he did was stand there. Now, I could see the hurt in his eyes. I could tell he was trying to hold something back, wrestling with what he really wanted to say to me.

“Say it!” I hissed, my nostrils flaring as I dared him to rip the bandage off and say it to my face, all the things he’d been saying to everyone else.

Instead, he just shook his head and turned to go, leaving me to stew in my fury. This only enraged me more.

“I bet you’ve never given any woman a chance, have you?” I called after him, desperate to get him to turn back around. It couldn’t end like this. Not with him walking away. I had to get his attention again. “I bet you’ve never even tried to put anyone else above the coins in your pocket! You’re too scared that I might find out you’re not good enough for me. Never mind that I just saved your ship from a disastrous explosion, and you didn’t even thank me.”

I spat the words, coming up off my bunk and taking three steps toward him, ready to stand my ground and face him eye-to-eye.

He halted halfway down the hall. His head was bowed, and I could hear him muttering something under his breath, although I couldn’t tell what it was. If I had my guess, it was a string of curses aimed at me.

When he raised his head and looked me in the eye, I could see how haunted he was, how my words had cut straight to the bone. He wasn’t angry. He was soft. He looked almost broken, as if one more accusation piled upon the rest would be the final straw and he would collapse under the weight of it all.

“You’re right. I was never going to be good enough for you, if that was all you saw in me. In your eyes, I could never be anything more than my worst moments, no matter how hard I tried. Tayla and Adreax will take good care of you. I know you don’t believe me right now, and it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s how it has to be.”

This time when he turned away, I knew there was no bringing him back. He had said his piece, and I mine, and we were now on separate trajectories. The next two and a half days was to be a torturous and miserable experience for the both of us, but as long as he stayed with Nikathy and I kept to myself, we didn’t have to face each other again. The fury that pulsed within my veins was impossible to tamp down. For all the seething rage I had unleashed, I had only succeeded in pushing him further away. I would have to go with Tayla and Adreax. There was no taking it back.

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