Page 33 of Rescued

22

HEROD

I slumped down into my seat in the cockpit and closed my eyes, letting my head fall back against the headrest. Nikathy had enough tact not to comment on what he had just overheard, and I was grateful for the reprieve. Eventually, my heart stopped pounding in my chest and my blood pressure fell back to a normal level. I slowly uncurled my clenched fists and took several deep breaths, prying my eyes open and settling back into the task of flying the ship.

We flew in silence for a long time. At some point, Nikathy fell asleep in the seat beside me, grunting and snoring like a disgusting animal. But I didn’t mind. I wanted to be alone, and this was as close as I could get under the circumstances. It gave me time to think, time to dive into my own mind and replay Caimbrie’s words, torturing myself with them.

I was grinding my teeth, making my jaw hurt from the pressure as I replayed the scene in my mind over and over, nothing to distract me from it but the memory of Caimbrie’s beautiful body beneath me. My mind flitted between the two, trying to make some sense of how things could have gotten so complicated so quickly. One moment she was throwing herself at me, kissing me with the feverish desire of an adolescent. The next moment, she was at my throat, as eager to see me dead as some of my worst enemies. I just couldn’t make sense of it.

But then my mind turned to another detail. Criminal. Money-obsessed. She was wrong about me, but I didn’t suppose it mattered much anyway. She didn’t know what life was like for me growing up. She couldn’t see that it wasn’t the money I was chasing. The fastest way to a comfortable life happened to be money, and there was no honest way of making enough money to lift you out of desperation and poverty. No, the only people who made it out were the ones who clawed their way to the top using whatever means presented themselves. Once I reached the top, I would be declared a hero, an entrepreneurial genius. But until then, I was just a common criminal.

What was most odd about Caimbrie’s attack was that she didn’t seem to be taking sides. I was only a criminal in the Patrol’s eyes, and the Patrol had taken everything from her once, too. I knew she didn’t think they were the good guys in all this, some kind of moral authority that I should bow to. She just didn’t like the way associating with me made her feel dirty, and that was the part that stung most.

“Sorry, pal. Didn’t mean to doze off on you,” Nikathy murmured, startling me.

“That was you sleeping? With all the noise you were making, I could hardly tell any difference from when you’re awake,” I joked.

Nikathy laughed lightly, but I could tell he hadn’t forgotten the fight so easily. He was still watching me, waiting for me to give up my position. If we were in business together, he had every reason to make sure that I could be counted on. At the moment, he had more than a few reasons to judge me unreliable. I needed to get him talking about himself, so he’d stop worrying so much about me.

“So, do you have a ship in mind?” I asked conversationally.

“Ah, yeah. I’ve been scouting them for a while now. There are a few good options, but it’ll really come down to what feels right in the moment.”

“All right. Fill me in on the plan, then. I want to be up to speed, so we don’t waste any time.”

Nikathy launched into an embellished version of the heist he hoped to pull off, most of which I tuned out as white noise. As long as he was daydreaming, he wasn’t asking me questions. I could all but ignore Caimbrie’s presence in the back of the ship, Nikathy’s words helpfully drowning out her movements, and stare straight ahead into the distance.

Two more days. I didn’t know how we’d survive it, but I was sure that I was ready for it to be over.

I granted myself permission to dream about what life might be like if the new plan succeeded. I imagined parking theGreedy She-Devil,along with my companions’ ships, inside the cargo hold of Nikathy’s new boat. Coming and going as I pleased. In some ways, Nikathy’s proposal was more than just a master plot to steal from the Patrol. It was an opportunity to reclaim something for ourselves and make it our own. Perhaps one day, it would be a floating paradise for the outcasts of society. And why not? They’d taken enough from us over the years. Now, it was our turn.

“And that’s where you come in,” Nikathy supplied, waiting for me to respond.

The sudden break in his words caught my attention and I nodded on cue.

“Okay, what do you need me to do?”

That was all the prompting he needed to go off on another long-winded explanation of the plan. Naturally, all of it was meaningless until we were in position and could actually see the target, but I tried to split my focus between him and my thoughts, picking up tidbits of vital information that would be useful in a few days’ time.

I burst out laughing, cutting Nikathy off mid-sentence. He gave me a worried look, like I’d finally lost it, but that only made me laugh harder. The harder I laughed, the deeper I felt the cracks in my heart.

“I think you need some rest,” Nikathy said at last, once I had a handle on my mirth. “You’ve had a rough few days, and it’s catching up to you.”

“I already told you no,” I said between fits of laughter.

“And I’m telling you that you won’t be any use to me if you don’t get it together. Have a rest. I’ll get the girl where she’s going.”

A twinge of possessiveness gripped me, telling me not to trust Nikathy with her, but as he maintained his somber stare, I slowly let go of the thought, forcing it away. She was not mine to possess. In any case, Nikathy would have no use for her on the coming mission. She would be safe enough while I slept, and that had to be enough for now.

I released my grip on the control yoke and sat back, relaxing my shoulders and letting my hands settle into my lap.

“You’re right, Nikathy.”

He took my words for granted, and we both rose, trading seats so he could be in command and I could rest. I didn’t dare go back to my bunk, although I desperately wanted to lay down. I just knew there would be no resting back there. It was here or nowhere at all, so here would do.