Page 122 of Stabby Little

"You're harsh this morning."

"You've been moaning about your missing ID for a month straight. I can't take it anymore."

"You could've told me earlier. It's not like I enjoy reliving this misery."

"I can't tell you because you'll find something else to complain about. You're a misanthrope. If it's not your ID, it's the bad weather."

"You're some friend."

"A friend can only take so much."

"I never would've lost my ID if you hadn't invited me to that club."

"Oh, now you're blaming me."

"I'm telling the truth. I planned to hang out with my animals and text that dude from Hollister. You convinced me to celebrate my twenty-first birthday in style and set me up for the robbery of the century."

"You're a drama queen."

"I appreciate the compliment."

"You need to find something to take your mind off this ID. Go for a walk after class. Play fetch with an animal in Central Park. Expose yourself to a lonely cougar and give her the thrill of a lifetime."

"I'm not really into public indecency. It's not my thing."

"I'm just saying. You could make her year."

A sick sensation crashes into me. "It sounds like you're complimenting me right now. I don't know how to take that."

"In your dreams."

"It kind of sounds like you want me to flash you. Is that what you're getting at?"

"You're delusional,” Becca volleys. “I'm hanging up now."

"If you want to see my dick, blow me a kiss over the phone. If you don't, hang up."

At first, there's silence. Then I hear the distinct sound of lips smacking together.

"Oh my God," I drawl. "You dirty girl."

"Let's just say I have a mild curiosity," Becca says. “I've only seen my boyfriend's dick before. I'm curious how you stack up next to him.”

"I'm gay, so I'm definitely not showing you my dick."

"I won't lose sleep over it."

"I'm honored you want to see me naked. Most people would avoid that at all costs."

"Want is a strong word," Becca drawls. “Don't make this out to be more than what it is.”

"I'm using your words. Not mine."

"I said I was curious."

"I'll take some dick pics for the Hollister guy and forward them to you. Would that satisfy your curiosity?"

"I'm not sure you want me to retain possession of your dick pics. I'll use them as blackmail the next time you're an asshole to me."

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