Page 39 of Filthy Rock Stars

“And those lyrics are weak,” Star adds, which earns a soft laugh from the group.

“Right.” Mare nods. “We can’t let this bother us. That’s what Forbidden Destiny wants.”

I watch them, hesitant and not sure what my role is. When everyone glances at me, I shove my hands in my pockets. “I can get going. This seems like band business.”

“No, stay,” Case says. “We need that easy smile.”

Mare stands up and joins me. “Trust me. With that melody you were playing earlier, you’re winning today, Nico.”

Star stands beside her. “Maybe this is a good time?” she says. “We could turn the day around.”

Case stands, too. “Yes! Let’s do it!”

They’re all looking at me, and I dart my eyes back and forth, confused. “Good time for what?”

“We’re flying to Los Angeles next Saturday,” Star says. “Just for a quick trip.”

“To play a set onLive with Cole Collins,” Mare adds. “We’re going to plug the climate rally.”

“Want to join us?” Case concludes. “Cole is kind of a jerk, but his crew is nice.”

I blink, stunned. “Join you on the late-night talk show?”

“We’re still getting to know each other,” Mare clarifies quickly. “But the band has been talking, and we really enjoy having you around, Nico. We like your music and your company, and the energy you bring to our musical dynamic especially. I know you’re not certain if the spotlight is right for you, but maybe it’s time to give it a try and find out.”

“And we want to pay you,” Star adds quickly. “Talk-show gigs don’t actually pay that much, but we’ll compensate you for all the time you’ve been spending in the studio, even if you decide to walk away right now.”

Case nods. “And if you want to keep your day job still, we totally understand.”

Mare laughs. “Now that’s the look I was hoping for. Seeing that smile on your face, Nico, it’s enough to forget the diss track.”

I probably look like I just won the lottery or spotted a UFO. My jaw is hanging open, my heart is pounding, and I’m failing to summon any words.

Could I honestly play music on live TV?

What Case said about my day job finally rattles through my skull. They’re implying that I could quit at the museum, the job I worked for years to achieve, the security I always craved.

I swallow. “Wow. Bananas. That’s really nice of you.”

Mare smiles. “I’m glad you think so. There’s just one little clause we should mention.”

Star drapes her arm across Mare’s shoulder, leaning in close to her friend. “What do you think about trying the keytar?” she asks.

* * *

When we finish at the studio, it’s still light outside, and I instinctively head to the Natural History Museum.

All of my colleagues have been enthusiastically supporting my journey with Kissing Dirt. They’re the ones who pushed me to use the vacation days I’ve been carefully hoarding, and I swear half the museum staff is living vicariously through me, same as my entire extended family.

It was one thing when this was just a blip, a temporary opportunity in my life. But now I’m standing on the precipice, and as excited as I am, the part of my brain that craves stability is still alive and well.

Could I really give this career up? I thought I had my dream job.

And what if I go onLive with Cole Collins, panic, and screw up the set? What if I decide to leave my day job only to crash and burn and lose my spot in the band?

My life could be thrown into upheaval again, like when I was young and a flood forced my family to move, or after Smith left. The thought sends a chill down my spine.

And if I go on live TV, will Solo spot me? Will it shatter my anonymity and ruin our thing? That would be a horrible reason to give up this opportunity, but ridiculously, that concern rises loudly, too.

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