Page 63 of Filthy Rock Stars

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “You’re a stranger, so to start, they’d probably lash out at you publicly and insult you, like how they have with your band. With me, they could do anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if they outed me to get things started.”

His brow crumples. “Your old friends would do that?”

“Maybe. My dad would disown me, no doubt, and maybe my mom. A good portion of our fans would turn against me. Our base gets more macho every year. So yeah. Especially if I quit the band and they wanted to hit me hard, they’d probably start there.”

“Fuck,” Nico whispers. “Your dad would disown you?”

I blink. He looks hurt on my behalf. It’s my fault we’re in this mess. He should be mad at me, not compassionate.

“He might come crawling back when he decides he wants more money.”

Nico crosses his arms over his chest. “So you’re playing guitar in a band that doesn’t treat you right, and you’re sending money to a parent who doesn’t support you? Shadow, you deserve better than that.”

My chest gets tight. “Hey, it’s not that bad. It’s like I told you the other day—my family has plenty of problems, but I don’t have nightmare parents. They weren’t nearly as bad as some. Hell, you said you’re not close to your parents, right?”

“We’re not best friends, but we support each other. And there’s nothing wrong with financially supporting your parents, either. I regularly help my mom out with her bills. But she supports me, too, in all kinds of ways. So does my dad. And I never had to worry about my parents disowning me. Neither of them understands the first thing about being queer or loving science, but they listen. We tell each other about our lives, and we congratulate each other on our wins because that’s what a family is.” He shakes his head, surprised by his own outburst. “I’m sorry,” he adds quickly. “I’m just sad that you don’t have anyone in your corner.”

Except you, I think, although I don’t know how to say something like that.

“Thanks,” I manage through the emotions he’s stirred up. I stroke his cheek, my thumb on the soft skin. “You’ve got enough on your plate, though. Don’t worry about my problems.”

“They’re our problems,” he points out.

Guilt twists my gut. He’s right about that.

We’re caught up in this together. I might want to pretend that my shit doesn’t affect him, but somewhere along the way, we crossed the line where that stopped being true.

“Just go tell the band,” I say abruptly, and as soon as the words are out of my mouth, I know that’s right. “Whatever you need to tell them, you should tell them as soon as you can.”

Nico tilts his head to the side. “Are you certain?” he asks.

“My problems are your problems now, too, right? It’s only fair.”

“But what if—”

I cut him off. “Doesn’t matter. If you trust them, then I might as well trust them, too. You seem to be a better judge of these things anyway.”

Nico sits up. “Shadow, if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” I say, aware that I might have just taken the first steps on the road to coming out publicly. “Just do me a favor?”

“Anything?”

I settle back against the couch. “Play me another song.”

CHAPTERTWENTY-ONE

NICO

Shadow plowsinto me as hot water blasts us from every direction. My palms are flat to the tiled wall of the shower, my hips jutted back, and his muscular, hard body presses me from behind.

“Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh fuck!”

I’m screaming. I’m used to being quiet during sex, but our hotel room is soundproof, and every time I open my mouth and holler, I feel free.

“Fuck me, Shadow. Fuck me hard.”

He rams in deep and stays buried as he scrapes his fingers across my neck. “So tight,” he groans and takes my chin, lifting my face to the water. “Dance for me.”

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