Page 18 of The Soldier's Homecoming

“Seriously, Daniel. I just don’t get it.”

Daniel sat up, pushing the blanket off, anger bubbling like a mini-volcano within him.

“Itisenough, Tom, because there’s nothing I can do about it. Okay?”

Tom put his hands on his knees, as if he was bracing himself, or maybe trying to stop himself from punching Daniel in the nose.

“There’s always something you can do.”

“Like what?” Daniel was open to suggestions. All he seemed to do these days was try to figure out how he could make things right.

“All I know is that you’ve got this amazing wife, the kind of girl I’d do anything for, and somehow you managed to stuff it up. Big-time.”

Daniel fought not to pummel his fist into something “Don’t you think I know that?” he almost yelled. “If I could take it back I would.”

They sat in silence. Daniel’s head was pounding.

“You’ve been different, Daniel,” his brother said, voice soft now. The accusations gone.

Daniel clamped his jaw tight, so hard he almost ground his teeth together. But he couldn’t stay quiet any longer. It was time to talk. If he couldn’t open up to his own brother, how would he ever get it off his chest?

“I miss it, Tom. I miss it so bad.”

His brother got up, pulled out two beers from the fridge and passed him one.

“You mean Penny?”

He sighed. A big, deep exhale of air that whooshed from his lungs.

“Of course Penny, but the navy, too. I know I should be grateful to be back here for good, but without Penny, it was so hard adjusting. I miss the guys, I miss the adrenaline rush of being up in the Seahawk, of being on a mission.I miss it so damn bad.”

Tom stayed silent, swigging quietly on his beer.

“And then I got so damn lonely, felt so sorry for myself, that I ruined everything.” He stared at the ceiling, forcing emotion back down his throat, fighting the feeling of his hear burning to death. “I was so alone, it was like I’d lost everything, and I was so utterly selfish that I ruined my life and hers. I just wish she’d let me try to explain what happened, what I was going through.”

Tom leaned toward him, the anger gone, replaced by a look Daniel hoped wasn’t pity.

“You stuffed up, bro, but you need to do everything you can to make this right. For you. For Penny. For Gabby.”

Daniel twirled the cold bottle in his hands. He didn’t know what to do, how to go about it.

“Even if you do get her to listen, you made the choice and this is the consequence. You can’t lump any of the blame on Penny.” Tom’s voice was stern but his gaze was kind. “I can’t imagine ever leaving the navy behind, it’s my life, but she’s yourwife, Dan. It doesn’t matter how hard it is for you, she’s more important. It’s Penny we’re talking about.”

He was right, he usually was. Only this time, Daniel had no idea what to do to make things right.

A phone rang.

He looked up, expecting it to be Tom’s, before realizing it was his.

Daniel reached for it, almost dropping it when he saw the caller identification.

“Who is it?” Tom asked

Daniel gulped, pausing before he answered. “Home,” he replied, his voice hoarse.

Tom raised an eyebrow again.

It was too late for Gabby to be calling him.

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