Page 84 of Giving In

“Jake? What are you doing here?” I recognize the voice straight away.

He leaves without looking back or replying to the person outside, and the next second I hear a gasp as I see Beth walk in. She takes in my state for a few seconds and I’m sure it’s not a beautiful sight.

I take a quick glance at the mirror, my face is pink, my hair messy and I realize I’ve buttoned my pants but haven’t zipped them up.

“Youfuckingslut. Wait until Cam hears about this. Your life is over, bitch.” She turns around in a hurry.

“No, Beth wait!”

I try to quickly re-do my pants correctly but by the time I’m walking through the bathroom door, Beth has disappeared around a corner.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.How could I let him do this to me?! The first image that comes to my head is Nathan. I’m so weak to Jake, I disgust myself.

For the first time in my life, I skip school. I have always been a straight-A student. I’ve always seen school as a place where I feel relaxed. I like learning, I like solving problems I don’t initially understand, and my dream has always been to get into an Ivy League. But today...I can’t face Jake in English and I can’t face Camila knowing that Beth has told her what she saw. There is no questioning what happened in this bathroom and Beth is going to be more than willing to ruin my life. Rightly so.

So I head home. Or I plan to head home but as soon as I leave school, I hop on a rare bus from Stoneview to Silver Falls.

I’m on the bus, questioning whether this is how Jake goes about every time he finds a girl to cheat on Camila with, when I receive a text from Emily asking me where I am. I get where she’s coming from, it’s unlike me to not show up to class. I don’t reply and when it’s followed by a text from Jake asking me where I’ve gone, I simply turn my phone off.

I follow my feet as they lead me to Nathan’s apartment. I shouldn’t go there after what has just happened with Jake. This is possibly the last place where I should be, but I can’t help it, he’s the only one who can make me feel better, safe,loved.

I punch in his building code that he had given me a couple of weeks ago, and head to the top floor. He’s got a gorgeous penthouse with a view of the falls and I make a mental note to ask him what he does for a living because I always forget to. He usually keeps me busy with other things.

When I knock on his front door no one opens. I wait a little and try again. My heart picks up as reality hits me. What if he doesn’t want to see me right now? What if he finds me clingy for showing up unannounced?

What if he’s in there with someone else?

We’re not actually together, he might as well be making breakfast to last night’s hookup as I’m waiting here.

Or maybe he’s just not home. Either way it’s just another sign I shouldn’t be here.

I turn around ready to leave when his smooth voice reaches my ears. “‘Me?”

I switch back around with a shy smile on my face. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” he asks, trying to refrain from a yawn.

I can’t help noticing he’s only wearing boxers, his tattoos and chiseled body on complete display for me to enjoy. There’s dark regret growing in the pit of my stomach as I remember what I let Jake do in the school’s bathroom.

“I...uh…”

“Shouldn’t you be at school?”

I can’t help a laugh. “Alright, dad.”

His brows shoot up at my statement and I freeze on the spot. That’s just awkward. That’s just daddy issues 101.

I lost my dad, can I really be blamed for having daddy issues?

“Sorry. That just came out. I just don’t feel like being at school.”

“That doesn’t sound like you,” he says, brows furrowing. “Everything okay?” He’s keeping the door behind him barely open and I can’t see inside at all.

“Can I come in?” Maybe I shouldn’t ask that. I have a feeling I’m not going to like the answer.

“Now’s not the best time, ‘Me.”

A sting of jealousy hits me right in the chest and it’s probably karma for earlier. Still. It hurts. How did I get so attached so quickly?

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