Page 37 of Giving In

“Sweetie,” she starts.

“I knew there was something wrong,” I cut her off.

She looks at me with a sorry face and anxiety overtakes me.

“What? What is it? Is it money? I can take up a real part time job mom. I can bring money back too. And I don’t have to go to Stoneview Prep. I know dad saved a lot of money for me and Aaron to attend private school but I’m happy to go to Silver Falls High.”

“The city pays for school, Jamie. Will you calm down?”

“What is it then?”

She hesitates a few seconds, avoiding my eyes. “I, um, Aunt Ruby is very ill.”

“Oh no, I’m so sorry mom. What is it?”

I don’t know my aunt very well, except that she’s my mom’s twin who still lives in Tennessee. Mom moved away to Maryland after meeting dad and once they had kids it was always the four of us. When she married him, mom’s family stopped giving news and slowly, as time went, they stopped talking altogether.

I think they were more bothered by the fact that he was Filipino rather than him being ten years her elder. My grandparents both died before I met them, and mom would always say it was better this way. I guess they weren’t too keen on meeting their mixed-race grandchildren. I know mom isn’t close to her sister but I’m sure it still hurts to know your twin is ill.

“She’s got lung cancer. It’s too far ahead to do anything at this point. She’s only got a few months left.”

My heart aches at her tone. She sounds so sad.

“Mom…” I put my hand on hers, trying to soothe her. Tears start cascading from her usually sparkling green eyes, the same I inherited from her, and I get out of my side of the booth to sit on hers. I take her in my arms.

“I’m so sorry.”

She calms down in my arms for a few seconds then pulls away wiping her tears.

“Sweetie, she asked me to be by her side in her last months.”

My eyes widen at the nerve my aunt has to ask the sister she’s ignored for years to travel all the way to Tennessee when she knows she’s the only family member I have here.

“I’m going to go, ‘Me,” my mom blurts out looking at her hands twisting on her lap.

“Wh–what?”

My brain suddenly goes into overdrive. Am I going to have to move? Say goodbye to Emily? Go to live in the south because my aunt has decided she wants to make amends before dying? She probably doesn’t even want that; she just doesn’t have anyone else to call and take care of her and can’t afford a carer.

“But mom, my school, my friends, lacrosse! I-I can’t just leave it all. It’s my senior year. Mom, I’m going to be valedictorian. How can we just drop everything? Our house...dad’s town!”

I’m suddenly short of breath and mom shakes her head.

“Sweetie, sweetie breathe!”

I take three deep breaths and slowly calm myself down. I need to call Emily.

“‘Me, I know all of that. That’s why I’m not asking you to come.”

My stomach twists as I swallow the news. “You’re gonna leave me here? On my own?”

“It’s up to you. Hope said you can stay over at Emily’s as much as you like. The Bakers are letting me take an extended paid holiday from the shop and Pastor Gilligan said he’ll pick you up from the house every Sunday to take you to Church. You don’t even have to work at the shop if you don’t feel like it. All you have to do is focus on your studies and let me take care of the rest.”

The shop. We rarely talk about it.

Last year, I added together our bills and her wages and quickly came to the conclusion that there was no way she could afford our rent, the food, my uniform, lacrosse, the car... When I confronted her about it, she didn’t hesitate one second before admitting the truth. She stole from the till. More often than not.

Every lacrosse field trip, every hobby and extras in our lives were stolen money. The clothes on my back, the desserts on our table, the trips to the movies and our TV subscriptions. All. Stolen. Money. I never blamed my mom for what she does.

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