Page 7 of #Beautiful

Ugh. I want to talk to him about this stuff, but I know better. Turning to head to the bathroom, I stop short as the bedroom door opens, and Declan comes back in holding some plates and two bottles of water.

So much for that.

“You ready for some Netflix, pizza, and cuddle time?” Declan moves around and sets the stuff he’s holding on the bed before stripping down to his shorts and sitting on his side of my bed.

“That sounds like a good end to the night,” I say as I move back to the bed and climb in, handing him the remote for my television.

As he turns something on and then makes our plates, I can’t stop myself from glancing at the bathroom several times . . . knowing that this pizza and all these dinner dates are just going to pack on the weight. How long before Declan says the same things Jackie did tonight? Would me gaining weight really change our relationship, or is the fear of that all in my head?

I’m not so sure I even want to find out the answer.

Chapter 6 - Declan

Lena hasn’t been okay since the night of the football scrimmage.

She says she is, but she isn’t. I don’t know what’s wrong, but something is. Whenever she’s around, she’s more disconnected from everyone, including me, than she’s been all summer and into the start of term. She finds excuses to spend more and more time alone. Even Candice and Darcy have asked me what’s up. I told them about what happened with that chick outside the pizzeria, but honestly, I’m not even sure that’s what’s wrong.

“Declan,” Justus says, tapping the back of my hand with his pen, “failing your classes this early in the semester isn’t a good start to a new year, bro.”

For the whole week since the football game, I’ve joined Justus in the library for two hours every day during my free time between classes. My grades got low enough last year that I almost lost my spot on the team, and I don’t want to risk that ever happening again. Plus, Coach will kill me if I remotely look like I’m messing up again. I also promised Lena that classes would come first this year, and the last thing I want to do is let her down.

“Yeah,” I say, shaking my head and rubbing my eyes, “just keep getting in my head the last few days.”

“I noticed you been distracted,” Justus says as he sets his pen down. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with Lena’s sudden change in behavior, would it?”

Looking up at him, I sigh as the overwhelming worry and guilt come crashing on me like a ton of bricks. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her, Jus. I can’t explain it, but this isn’t just her being upset about last year still. I mean, that’s part of it, but it’s beyond that. Last Friday, when we got back from the pizzeria, she was fine. We ate, watched TV, made out until my damn lips hurt.”

“So, what happened?” He sits forward and stares at me with intensity in his eyes. Sometimes, I forget that Lena is the reason Justus and I are close. They were close first, and he was there when I screwed up last year.

“That’s the thing,” I say with another sigh as tears well in my eyes, unable to stop them. “The next morning, I woke up to her getting sick in the bathroom. She said she must have overate the night before, which I figured might be true because we polished off an entire pizza, breadsticks, and wings. But I was worried, so I suggested maybe she get seen, and she snapped. Ranted at me about how she’s sick of everyone telling her what to do, that she’s fine, and wishes everyone would back off. Then she asked me to leave, which she hasn’t done in a long time. It’s been that attitude since. And not just with me.”

Justus shakes his head. “I know. Sandra was with her in the kitchen this morning and mentioned to Lena that she looked tired. Lena about bit her head off.”

Angrily, I wipe the tear that escapes from my eye. “I don’t know what to do. It’s like I went to bed with my girlfriend and woke up with a monster. Lena is a lot of things, but she isn’t mean at heart, not like this.”

Justus taps his finger against the table quietly. “Okay, let’s think back to what happened the night of the game. Something made her flip. We just have to figure out what it is and then go from there.”

I rack my brain, my foot tapping a mile a minute against the floor. “The only thing that really happened was that girl saying some shit to her.”

“Okay.” Justus sits up straighter. “What exactly did she say?”

“Uh, when I walked up, she said something about finding a wet spot. I didn’t hear the whole conversation. I said something because of the look on Lena’s face.”

“Christ,” Justus says, lightly banging on the table. “Jackie is known for picking on other girls for being fat. That’s her phrase to say. Tells girls that a guy would have to roll them in flour to find the wet spot. I’ve heard her say that shit to at least a dozen girls since I met her. Which means whatever came before that wasn’t pretty either.”

“You think that’s what set Lena off?” I lean closer because the librarian is staring daggers at us already.

“Listen, after all the stuff that happened when you pledged Sigma Nu, any girl flirting with you is going to make Lena upset. You add in Jackie’s way of fat-shaming people, even if they aren’t fat, and you have a recipe for disaster. And Jackie doesn’t back off. If she has her sights on you, be ready for a stalker. She’s a snake, man, and not the good kind.”

I scoff, trying to process all this. “No, Lena isn’t going to fall for that. I love her, and I don’t care if Lena is the size of a hippo.”

“You sure about that?”

Rolling my eyes, I glare at my friend. “Hippo, walrus, elephant, the damn blob, whatever. I don’t care. Lena is Lena, and she’s everything to me regardless of how she looks. Hell, she could shave her head and tattoo her whole face. She’s still going to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, man.”

“Maybe you need to make sure she knows that,” he says with a slight shrug. “The Lena you started college with isn’t the same one with you today. Every situation changes you both, and things that might have been obvious before might not be now. Maybe she just needs the reminder that she’s your everything a little more often right now. Just while she gets through the emotions and stuff.”

“And if she keeps pushing me away?”

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