Page 8 of #Beautiful

Justus’ face goes blank. “Are you willing to let her insecurities remove her from your life?”

“Hell no,” I snap, earning me a hard throat clearing and glare from the librarian.

“Then, if she pushes back, don’t give up. She didn’t give up on you when you were at your worst.”

Sighing, I sit back in my chair, letting everything sink in. Justus is right. Last year was my year to screw up. This year is the fallout of that, and no matter what that entails, I need to be ready and willing to push through it. That’s what Lena deserves. For me to prove to her that no matter what, no matter how hard it gets, I’m never going to give up on her. Just like I wouldn’t give up on her when I met her, and all she wanted was to end things and just disappear. I can’t let her go back to that place in her head. She’s come so far . . . we’ve come so far, and I can’t let her forget that now.

Chapter 7 - Lena

“Lena is the size of a hippo.” Declan’s voice echoes around the wall just as I approach, and I stop dead. Did he just compare me to a hippo?

“You sure about that?” Justus’ voice makes my stomach drop.

“Hippo, walrus, elephant, the damn blob, whatever.”

The tears hit my eyes and run over before I’m fully turned around, and I speed walk around the table and out into the hall. I don’t need to hear another word of that conversation. Hippo? Walrus? And Justus is just sitting there talking crap right along with him.

If that’s what he thinks of me, why doesn’t he just break up with me? Why pretend like he wants to be with me and keep up this charade of acting like I mean something to him if my weight is such a deciding factor on how he feels about me?

I guess it’s a good thing I’ve been such a jerk all week. At least now, it’ll be easier to just ignore everyone. Walking across campus, I head for the gym. I already have a locker in there for the year, and right now, anywhere is better than going back to the house. The gym isn’t crowded, so I head to the locker room and change into my extra leggings and sports bra. Usually, this is what I work out in, but Declan’s words ring in my ears like a bad church bell. I grab my hoodie and toss it back on. I’ll have to go to the house after this for a quick shower and change, but oh well.

I put my earbuds in and bring up the music player on my phone. After getting my playlist going, I hop on the treadmill and get lost in running. Of course, I’d rather run outside, but honestly, there’s a bigger chance I run into someone out there than in here, so the treadmill is the safer bet. Of course, once the weather gets a little cooler, I won’t be able to pass it up. I love running in the fall and early winter. It’s my favorite time of year with the crisp air and freshness that clings to everything.

Running is my solace, usually. Today, each beat of my feet on the belt is a stab of someone’s words ringing in my ears. Tubby, fat, hippo . . . it’s like a broken record in my head, just hitting me in the gut harder with each second. The furious beating from my heart isn’t from the running, but the panic and anger just flooding my veins with every passing second. Slamming my hand on the stop button, I jump off the treadmill and turn, slapping the palm of my hand into the wall before turning and leaning my back against it, sliding down to the floor as the tears spill over.

I’m not sure how long I sit there before the light touch of fingers on my arm makes my head snap up. Squatting in front of me is an extremely thin young lady, probably around my age, with blonde hair pulled into a ponytail at the base of her head. Standing behind her is an equally small girl with brownish-red hair. The blonde’s brows are drawn together in concern.

“You okay, hon?”

I sniffle and wipe my face with my hands. “Yeah. Just dealing with stuff.”

The blonde looks over her shoulder at the other girl and back to me. “We get that. Do you want to come with us for a coffee?”

Staring between the two of them, their smiles are inviting. Nodding, I push myself off the ground and hold my hand out. “I’m Lena.”

The blonde shakes my hand and gives me another smile. “Torrey, and this is my best friend Gretchen. We’re sophomores.”

I can’t help but smile as the three of us walk toward the locker room. “Me too.”

As the three of us change our clothes and get our belongs together, Torrey and Gretchen tell me about how they’re lifelong friends from Forks, Washington. They didn’t want to stay in their town after high school but were too scared to leave the state. So, they came here together. They also live in an off-campus apartment only a fifteen-minute walk from the main courtyard.

They seem really sweet and like good people. I share where I’m from and tell them how Declan, Candice, Jackson, Darcy, and I came to school together.

We chat about the usual likes and dislikes on the way to the coffee shop, and they both seem to think it’s pretty cool that I’m on the college’s soccer team. I’m surprised when they admit they’ve never been to a football game and have no idea who Declan is. This is only our second year, and I thought everyone knew who Declan was.

As we are sitting there, they ask me about what got me so upset in the gym, and to my surprise, I end up word vomiting about last year, the crap that Jackie said, and even how I was feeling before that.

“Oh, honey,” Gretchen says as she reaches out and puts her hand over mine, “that’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

My brows pull together, but my heart sighs in relief at the same time. It’s a strange feeling. “You just met me, and you don’t think I’m a complete basket case?”

Torrey frowns as she reaches over and puts her hand on mine, next to Gretchen’s. “Gretch and I have been through a lot. We, uh, have our coping mechanisms, too. The key is keeping them in check so that you can maintain your goals and control but not end up in the hospital.”

My eyes widen as her words click in my head. “Wait, you mean, you guys. . . you know?”

Gretchen chuckles as she moves her hand from mine to sip her coffee. “Yeah. I’m a purger, like you. Torrey is more of a don’t-eat unless necessary.”

Torrey lifts her hand and playfully pushes Gretchen, the both of them giggling. “I eat, Lena. But I keep a journal, you know, count calories, track my vitamins, stuff like that. Honestly, I don’t think what Gretchen and I do is that far off from what those health nuts do with their fad diets.”

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