Page 85 of #Lovestrong

Lena

Walking toward the cafe tent, I stop a few feet away. Jackson and Candice are with my grandma, laughing at something. It makes my chest hurt. For the last two weeks, Jackson hasn't been around the cafe or Candice's house when I'm there. He's spending his time with Declan. And since I'm spending most of my time with Candice, I know they aren't seeing each other as much as they should.

I really thought breaking up with Declan was the right thing to do, but I just don't know anymore. I barely sleep, hardly eat, and focusing on school work or helping at the cafe is almost impossible. He's all I think about, and I miss him more than anything.

Every day I want to text him, but I can't. It wouldn't be fair. I'm the one who broke up with him so he could move on and find someone worthy of him. What kind of person would I be to just jump back into his life simply because I miss him? I've seen him at school, but he doesn't look my way. A few times, without him knowing, I've stood outside the cafeteria and watched him and Jackson.

He laughs and jokes with his friends and several girls have made a point to sit with him to talk throughout the lunch period. He seems to be doing exactly what I wanted him to do . . . and it's killing me.

"Lena!" A deep voice pierces the veil, bringing me back to the present.

I hadn't realized I'd zoned out, and the chatter and commotion from the fair is almost deafening. I look up to see Jackson waving me over, so I paste my best smile on my face and head in his direction. As soon as I'm under the tent, he reaches out and pulls me into a tight hug.

"How's my second favorite girl?" He squeezes me tighter and I force myself not to start crying. Since I moved here, Jackson has become just as good a friend as Candice, and it isn’t until now it dawns on me that I miss him almost as much as I miss Declan.

Taking a deep breath, he lets me go and I step back slightly, willing my facade to stay firmly in place. "I'm doing okay, Jackson. How's my second favorite guy?"

He smiles slightly before looking over his shoulder to Candice. She nods slightly before turning and heading over to my grandma. I stare after her, wondering what that is about. Turning back toward Jackson, I'm slightly alarmed by the sadness in his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"I know you're not okay. He's not okay either."

I scoff. "He seems just fine at school, Jackson."

"Yeah, well, you aren't around him outside school. I am. He's anything but okay, Magdalena," Jackson says with a sharp tone that causes me to wince. I didn't do this to hurt Declan. "Look, if this was the right thing, neither of you would be hurting this much. One of you would be okay. Fix it before it’s too late, Lena. He's my best friend, but so are you. I don't know what's going on in your head, but I know what's going on in his."

Staring down at the ground, a few tears slip from my eyes and I wipe at them with my gloved hands. "Jackson, I did this for him. You know that."

"No. You think you did this for him. Because you're still hurting. He's never asked for more than you could give him, but instead of working through your pain, you shut him out when you should’ve pulled him close and relied on him to support you. Declan can't fix what happened, he can't take away your pain, but if you let him and trust him, he can love you through it."

"Jackson, I—"

"Lena!" My grandma walks over to us with a thermal bag in her hands. "Can you run this over to the dunk booth? They just came out of the dryer and the dunk tank is about to switch people. It's less than forty degrees out here, so whoever is getting out is going to need these."

She thrusts the bag into my hands before I can answer, turns on her heels, and walks back to the other side of the tent to restart the mobile dryer she and Grandpa brought out here for the event. I sigh and take one more look at Jackson before turning to head to the dunk booth on the other side of the fair.

Mulling over Jackson's words, I decide that if I get the chance to talk to Declan, I will. Maybe if we can't be together, we can still be friends. Just as I get to the dunk tank, Mr. Kaiden, the Algebra I teacher, is climbing onto the dunk tank seat. Whoever was just in the tank is probably in the tent a few feet away so I head in there.

It's warm as I step through the flaps of the tent opening. Grandpa mentioned they put a mobile heater in this tent for those brave enough to volunteer for the dunk tank each year. I look up and stop dead in my tracks. Declan is sitting on a bench, a small towel wrapped around his shoulders, water dripping from his soaked bathing suit. His whole body is shaking and his face and lips are tinged blue.

Lord, he’s freezing.

I open the thermal bag and pull out three almost too hot towels and walk with determination over to him. He’s so stupid for volunteering for this. He's going to end up with pneumonia. I yank the small towel off his shoulders and his head snaps up, his mouth falling open, lips shaking from cold.

"Lena—"

"Shush until you're warm," I snap, setting the towels down next to him. Opening the first one, I lay it over his lap so his legs are covered and his body shivers more. I grab the second towel, open it, and wrap it around his shoulders. With shaking hands, he grabs the edges of the towel and draws it in close. Grabbing the last towel, I put it over his head like a hood and let the rest drape over his shoulders for extra warmth.

He still shivers, but a little less than when I first walked in. Heading over to the control panel for the heater, I turn it up a few degrees. It's only set at seventy-five, so it won't hurt to make it a little hotter in here. Walking back over, I stop in front of him and he looks up at me, his eyes unreadable.

"Thank you," he says, staring at me like I've just given him air for the first time.

The look in his eyes makes my chest hurt.

"You're a complete idiot for volunteering for this. You're going to end up sick and in the hospital." My tone is harsher than I want it to be, but I still love him. I don't think I can stop loving Declan, no matter how hard I try.

"They needed volunteers. No one else wanted to do this one."

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