Page 79 of #Lovestrong

I wipe the tears from my cheeks as Mr. Dettweiller stands and holds his hands out to help me up. Together, we walk quietly back to the house, his arm secure around my shoulders. Everyone is on the porch, and I look up just as Declan and Jaz jump off the porch and come running over to us.

Mr. Dettweiller drops his arm and steps to the side just as Jaz slams into me, wrapping her arms around my head and shoulders. Declan puts his arms around both of us and kisses the top of my head. I squeeze my best friend as hard as I can, burying my face in her shoulder.

I don't think I'll ever understand why God chose Jaz and I to stay but took our other halves. The four of us made a whole. And no matter how much time passes, even though I love Declan with all my heart, without Camilla and Cameron, I don't think I'll ever truly be whole again.

I thought I was getting better. Moving forward. But seeing their parents, being back in this town, it's like all these months in Lakeview and going to therapy have been wasted. I know everyone is right, but the hollow feeling in my chest won't fully go away. I hoped it would, and it even seemed like it was, but it hasn't.

Once again, I just want to disappear. I want to turn back time and push Cameron out of the way. I want to make it to Peter before he pulls the guns out. Scream at him to take me and spare everyone else. I want to join them because I still hate being in this town without them.

"Are you okay?" Jaz releases me and lays her hands on my shoulders, staring at me with concern.

"Yeah. I'm okay," I say, my voice low and bland.

Stepping out of her and Declan's embrace, I walk to the porch and finally hug everyone else, apologizing profusely. As we head inside for dinner, I steel myself to find a way to hide how I feel.

No one should suffer with me, and forget what my therapist says— this isn't a burden anyone should carry but me.

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