Page 20 of Absinthe Minded

“I can handle that. Listen. I’m sorry I haven’t seen you much since your dad died.”

Zach shrugged. “You’re busy. We see you on holidays at Grandma Evelyn’s. It’s all good.”

“Are you still playing guitar?”

“Yeah, plus sax in the marching band.”

“We should jam sometime. Next time I go home, I’ll get my guitar.”

“We should do it at your place. Maggie freaks out if I play too loud.”

“Duly noted.” I returned the living room to check on the other two munchkins.

Maggie had done a remarkable job with the kids, but the house made me claustrophobic. She had piles of stuff on every available surface. I owed her one, a big one. I might not know anything about babies, but I could clean with the best of them.

“All right, troops. Gather around. We are going to do something nice for Maggie.” I rubbed my hands together as they approached. “Ryan, pick up your toys, and put them in the playroom.”

Ryan looked at me as if I’d grown a second nose. “Why?”

“Because Zach can’t vacuum with toys on the floor.”

Zach came down the hall. “Wait. How did I get sucked into this?”

“What do I do, Uncle Gabe?” Chloe beamed.

Pretending to consider her question, I tapped my chin. “You can put these clothes away. At least get them to the right bedroom, if you don’t know where they go.”

To my surprise, the kids got to work without being told twice. I started with the dishes. The tactical position gave me a central location to keep an eye on the munchkins while they worked.

The stacks of mail came next. I sorted what looked like household bills into one pile, personal mail in another, and junk in the garbage.

The kids put away their backpacks, extra shoes and coats. Once Zach vacuumed the fallen needles from the floor, the Christmas tree seemed to stand prouder. The thing really needed to go, but otherwise the place looked good.

I glanced at the clock. We didn’t have much time before Maggie came home. “Bath time.”

“No bath!” Ryan made a break for it.

I grabbed him around the middle before he could escape. “Oh no you don’t, little man.”

Giggling and squirming, Ryan squealed, “I want a shower.”

I glanced at Zach and quirked a brow. He shook his head.

“Bath it is.” I tossed the boy into the air, catching him under his arms. “Chloe, take a shower in Maggie’s bathroom.”

A devilish expression crossed her face. Judging by the piles of lotions and potions, I doubted Maggie allowed her to shower in the master bathroom. Deciding to pick my battles, I let it go. How much trouble could she possibly get into?

“Zach, take my keys and get the black checkbook out of the glove compartment. Make sure you lock it and don’t even think about a joy ride.” I carried Ryan down the hall. This parenting thing wasn’t so bad.

Fifteen minutes later, I had the little man scrubbed down and in his PJs. The finish line was within my grasp. All I had to do was supervise teeth brushing and make sure Ryan emptied his bladder.

I walked into the living room and all hope of a moment’s peace evaporated.

Chloe hadn’t taken a shower. Makeup covered every inch of skin on her face, including her ears. She’d painted her nails, though I couldn’t tell if she’d used polish or a paint roller. She wore one of Maggie’s silk robes, also splattered with makeup, and a pair of her high heels. The girl looked like a miniature vampire, drag queen.

“Am I gorgeous, darling?” She preened.

For the first time in my life, I understood why animals ate their young.

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