Page 89 of Reckless

“Must be love that I’m still here now.”

Blushing and absolutely pleased at everything she was telling him, Miles rolled his eyes. “You’re absolutely gorgeous and smart and funny and you make me stupid with happiness. They saw it. Whatever you said to my mum turned her into your number one fan.” As much as he wanted to drag her into the bedroom and sex her into oblivion, there were some other things he needed to share. Wanted her to know so she understood him better. Not to excuse what he’d done, but to give context.

“Your mother is a delight. Also, who knew she cursed like a sailor when she got mad?”

“It’s adorable when it’s pointed at someone else. Not so fun when she’s pissed at you.”

Harlow watched him for long moments until she finally said, “There’s more. Tell me.”

Of course she’d sense that. “It’s that she’s involved that makes it worse. Sophie I mean.”

Harlow paused, cocking her head.

“Will you tell me why? I’m not going to get jealous that you’re still emotionally connected to her.”

He snorted, shaking his head. “Iamemotionally connected. Not how you might assume. Can I tell you about her? It?”

Harlow looked at him with a sad smile. “Of course you can. I want that.”

“And can we do that snuggled up? You’ve been mad at me for hours. I hated that.”

She held her hand out and he tugged, pulling her up so they could relocate to the bed and under the blankets facing one another.

He took her hand. “When I was the Miles who was with Sophie, I was a different person. A lesser version of who I am now. Weaker. It wasn’t a great love affair or anything like that. When we met, Earthquakes’s success was just heating up. It seemed fun to go out and be wild. After all, I’d earned it hadn’t I, with all my hard work.” Miles shook his head.

“Sophie’s world was different than mine had been. There were drugs everywhere all the time. I came to rehearsal high more than once until Silas took me aside and said none of them wanted to see my face unless I was ready to do my job. I thought, fuck that! They just want to kill my fun. The sex,” he peeked at Harlow, but she didn’t look upset. “Threesomes and more. She didn’t care if there were other people with us, so I didn’t care either. I stopped caring about a lot of things, mainly how the truly important people in my life saw me and what I was doing. It wasn’t that I was a junkie, or that I’d physically harmed anyone. But I was a wreck. A juggernaut of chaos and instability until she got bored and cheated and I got ashamed and finally broke things off.”

Harlow squeezed his hand but said nothing. Just letting him get it out.

“Then, after the breakup, Sophie took things, private things, between us and she threw out all the details. She gave all these breathless, giggly little bits about us to get more attention and to raise her profile as a celebrity adjacent person. This stuff was everywhere. She bragged about my piercing and how high capacity I was when it came to drugs and alcohol. She posted pictures of my dick on the internet. I had to face my mum knowing she’d heard I did coke. That she knew I’d smoked dope with heroin. People knew all my weakest moments and I had no defense other than pretending it didn’t bother me.”

He pulled his hand away to scrub it over his face.

Harlow continued listening to him with nothing more on her features than empathy.

“I don’t mean to say she made me do it or that she was a bad influence, because that’s not true. I allowed her into my world and then I wallowed in the way we dirtied it up.” The words had been ripped from him. Something he’d thought dozens of times but had never given voice to. “It took me a really long time to trust anyone new after that. And I can’t say it wasn’t hard even with those I did know and had no reason to suspect.”

He pressed the heel of his hand against his chest, against the pain. “Because of me, she slithered into your life and did to you what she did to me. I hate that it was her who brought Gloria’s attention back to you in such a visceral way. I hate that it made you upset. I hate that it makes you believe you’re not deserving of your success. She’s a shallow person who doesn’t care about anyone above what they can do for her. Obviously, she sees you and thinks you had to fuck your way to success because it wouldn’t occur to her otherwise. I hate that she’s in between us because she’s stirred her pot again.” He’d worked so hard to get past that part of his life and his worst mistake had come back to do harm to his best thing in the world.

“Miles, I feel this way because of years and years of being taken less seriously because I had a famous dad. Or because I’m female. And attractive. With boobs and a brain. It’s part of this industry andI loathe it. But it’s not because of whatserface. Sophia is an archetype. There are many of her. You can’t own that. In fact, you’ve gone out of your way to be the opposite with me.”

She kissed his fingertips.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to share this. It helps me understand you so much better. I’m sorry she betrayed you. I’m sorry she messed with your trust but I’m so grateful you gave it to me.”

He blew out a long breath, letting go of the guilt and the anxiety that Harlow might react badly. Let himself accept the fact that she loved him. She wasn’t going to hurt him like that. Would, in fact, go out of her way not to.

“Are we at the make-up sex part?” he whispered.

“Probably,” she said. “If you’ve got the energy to pleasure me well, let’s get to it!”

CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE

Harlow spun in a circle as she took in the master bedroom of the house Miles had rented for the next several days. Floor to ceiling windows fronted the entire space with a large deck just beyond. The ocean glittered to the horizon past that as the setting sun set the sky afire in oranges and pinks.

The light on her skin was a lure. God she was magnificent there in a short sun dress of blue gingham. Sexy and sweet all in one.

La Jolla was one of her favorite places. She’d mentioned it once, months ago at the beginning of the tour. He’d remembered because it occurred to him they’d be in San Diego for shows. It’d been a pleasure to choose this house for her. A base for the next several days. A way to spoil her, which was one of his favorite things.

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