Page 45 of Reckless Rebel

Her shoulders drop in defeat. “Okay, thank you.” She moves towards the car and I help her inside, sliding her into the middle so I can climb in after her, sandwiching herself between both Elle and I.

“Riles, you remember Elle?” I gesture to her other side and then point into the front. “That’s her fiancé Marcus, and this is my other brother, Lincoln, you’ll have seen them around before.”

I watch her fingers fidget with one another as she mumbles a quick, “Nice to officially meet you both.”

The car is silent as we make our way out of the estate where the party was being held and get onto the road, and it isn’t long before we come to the road that leads one way to our house and the other to out of town. I feel Riley leaning against me and when I look down I see she has fallen asleep on my shoulder, not surprising considering how many drinks I watched her knock back tonight, especially for someone who doesn’t usually drink.

I sigh as Elle looks our way, “Where to, Pretty Boy?” She asks pointlessly with a smile. We both know she knows exactly where the Decker house is, and we both know what my answer will be.

“Home, we are going home,” I declare, moving Riley so she can lie her head comfortably on my lap, and Lincoln doesn’t say anything as he takes the turn off that will lead us there.

I spend the entire car ride looking down at Riley and thinking about how the last girl I had curled up in my lap like this was Taylor. What is it with me? Am I only allowed to connect with girls who are in a shit situation, who are dangled in front of me only to be snatched away. I mean I didn’t know what was going to happen with Taylor, I didn’t know I wouldn’t be able to have her, I didn't even get the time to decide if I wanted to. But with Riley it’s different, I know I can’t have her, I know I shouldn’t want her, yet my attraction to her is like a flame and instead of smothering it, I keep adding an accelerant.

It’s not like I’m not trying, I mean fuck, my dick was deep down another girl’s throat a few hours ago in an attempt to convince myself I don’t care. But it didn’t work, I don’t think anything will work, and now I am about to spend two weeks in a cabin with her and her family. I am so fucked.

I pull my phone from my pocket and type out a message to Gerry.

Jace - Hey G-Dog, just letting you know Riley is gonna crash at mine, she’s okay, her and Rick had an argument and she was upset. Hope that’s okay. *peace emoji*

I don’t expect a reply given it’s almost 2am, but my phone vibrates in my hand not even five minutes later and I open his reply.

G-Dog - No problem kid, look after my girl for me.

Jace - Always.

When we get home, Lincoln pulls the car right up to the front door and gets out without a word. Marcus turns for the first time, taking in Riley asleep in my lap, and a smile tugs at his mouth.

“Should I set up a guest room?” If Riley wasn’t in my lap, I'd punch him for the smirk on his face as he asks.

“River, don’t tease him,” Elle scolds, and Marcus just laughs.

“Come on, Little King, after all the shit he gave me, surely I’m allowed a little fun in return.” I roll my eyes because yeah I gave him so much shit when Elle first came onto the scene last year, but that was different.

“You are confused by what is happening here, Riley is just a friend.” My tone is serious and firm as I interrupt them.

Marcus smiles wider, “I remember that lie, you forget I lived it for years, but whatever you say, brother.” He shakes his head with a little laugh of disbelief and then gets out of the car before I can respond.

I take a deep breath before looking at Elle but she speaks first, “Mandatory family brunch tomorrow before you go, okay?” She nods at me, and then slips from the car herself, leaving Riley and I alone.

I don’t move, at least not right away, just bask in the silence that for once isn’t so fucking loud. My eyes trace the curve of her body, the spot where her top has ridden up to show a slither of her stomach, the bit where her jeans hug around her waist and hold her tight like I wish I could.

I shake my head and then open my door, sliding my arms underneath her and then lift. It's a little awkward given the angle, but her small frame makes it easier on me and we make it inside without incident. I bypass four guest rooms on the way to mine and ignore every single one of them. If she is going to stay here then she will stay in my bed and nowhere else. I tell myself it’s because I want her to be comfortable, because I want to make sure it’s okay, but I’m lying. The thought of her in my bed, her smell on my sheets, it calls to me.

I place her gently in the still rumpled sheets and take off her shoes before covering her up, she stirs slightly before snuggling right into one of my pillows like she is exactly where she belongs. I think about the night I had Taylor in my bed, we were at the safe house so it didn’t really feel like my bed, it wasn’t my home, but still it was different to other girls. Taylor was the first girl I ever let in, or started to anyway, now here I am, wanting to do it again with someone who isn’t even trying. Yet this is more somehow, because this is my home, my room, my bed, my world, and I have opened the door and dragged Riley inside.

Maybe for guys like me this is all we get, just a snapshot of what I could have, but will never deserve, and still I want to take it. Friends are all Riley and I will ever be so I need to accept that, and this is just me being her friend and making sure she is okay after a bad night. I leave my room quietly and go to the kitchen to fetch some bottled water and painkillers for when she wakes up.

I turn and startle a little when I find Linc leaning on the doorframe watching me. “You shouldn’t be starting something with someone right now.”

I frown, taken aback. “I’m not starting anything,” I begin, but he cuts me off.

“Jace, come on man.” He looks tired as he says the words, and I think about the fact that he has barely been around the last few months, constantly working and actually doing something with his life, and that includes his dating life.

“What? I’m gonna take dating advice from you now?” My tone turns bitterly teasing, “Does little Royton know you fantasize about Donovan’s dick when he gets you off, or is that a fantasy you enjoy together?”

He ignores my attempts to rile him, “I just know you better than anyone else does.”

I shouldn’t take my own demons out on him, but I can’t help it. “Yeah is that why you keep feeding me my preferred cocktail of drugs? Because you know me so well.” My tone is bitter as I snap out the words.

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