Page 44 of Reckless Rebel

Out of habit I try to grab his arm but he pushes me off and I knock into the island, a bottle of liquor smashes to the ground, drawing even more attention to us. I don’t know how, but I know Jace is watching us intently now. I can feel his attention on me like a magnet pulling him towards me, I wonder what he makes of all this. Wonder if he knew all along with all his warnings about Rick that things would turn out exactly like this.

Clearly I should not be allowed to drink in public, or ever, because before I can stop myself I yell out, “At least drunk I can still find my clit!”

“Oh shit,” Sienna chokes out a laugh and I blanch back realizing what I just shouted in my drunken state. Fuck.

My cheeks burn as a few people laugh, but their stares make my skin crawl. The alcohol allowed me to lower my usual inhibitions and resulted in my anxiety decreasing, but here and now, I wish I was anywhere else. I need to leave. I need to go home.

“I’m leaving,” I declare, moving past her, but her hand grips my arm.

“Riley, wait I’ll go with you.”

That’s the last thing I want right now so I put my hand on hers. “No, stay, I just want to go home and crash, I’m fine really, we’ll talk in the morning, okay?”

She stares at me for a few seconds before she believes me and lets her grip drop from my arm. I don’t even say goodbye, just move as quickly as I can, pushing past people as they laugh, some even trying to high five me, but I ignore them all, not looking back until I reach the grass lawn outside. I am hyperventilating as I try to catch my breath, the cool summer breeze causing sweat to drop down my back.

I know it’s coming and yet still I find myself trying to stop the tears from falling, but it’s useless. I quicken my pace, just wanting to get away from this stupid house and this stupid party. I thought the night I lost my virginity would be a night I’d always remember, but it’s nothing but a night I hope I can forget. Jace and Sienna were right, sex really can feel like pure nothing.

23

JACE

Elle tries to keep up with me, but I move too fast, just desperate to make it outside and find Riley and make sure she is okay. I don’t think about why I need to see her, or the fact that she might not want to see me, I just have to get to her. I make it to Lincoln’s SUV before any of them, and then have to pace back and forth while I wait for them to catch up. When they arrive I tap my foot impatiently as Linc unlocks it and climbs inside. I swing open the door and jump into the back seat with Elle.Lincoln pulls out onto the path as my eyes scan the surrounding area looking for her, she barely has a head start so I know she has to be here somewhere.

“She might already have a ride home, Pretty Boy.”

I ignore her, keeping my focus on the only thing that needs it right now. “There,” I spot her red hair as she paces quickly towards the iron gates.

I am already jumping from the car before Lincoln can completely stop it, and Riley startles a little when she hears the door slam, her shoulders tensing up until she spots me. Her face is red and splotchy and I note the tears staining her cheeks. I want to turn around and find that little Dick and do some damage. I heard what he said to her, how he said it, acting like he’s got better options than Riley lined up, is he fucking blind as well as stupid? My mind chooses to ignore whatever they got up to in the bathroom, not sure I can handle the details.

I feel the tension between us as we lock eyes, see the embarrassment burning around her so I return to my usual playful self in the hopes it will help.“It’s a little late for a walk, Red.”

She huffs between a laugh and a cry before she shrugs. “Just trying to get my steps in before our vacation.” She taps the fitness watch I have noticed she always wears and I smile.

“Are you okay?” I step towards her and she looks down to the ground with a shrug.

“I think I just broke up with my boyfriend,” she whispers into the night, and I wish those words didn’t bring me such pleasure, especially when such sadness covers her face.

I reach out and slide my hand under her chin and tip her head back until her eyes find mine. “I think your boyfriend is a fucking tool for not treating you like the angel you are.”

More tears fill her eyes and I can’t help but pull her towards me and engulf her in a hug which she sinks into immediately. Sobs break from her chest and I have to ball my fists to try and control the rage that threatens to boil over. “I think I fucked up,” she cries into my chest, and I uncurl my fists so I can rub her back in an attempt to soothe her.

“Hey, I fuck up all the time, trust me when I say it isn’t the end of the world.” The worlds are muffled against the top of her head as my big frame wraps around hers.

She pulls her head back and looks up at me, and with my arms wrapped around the small of her back it feels like she fits, like she is mine. It’s a dangerous thought.

“Have you ever lost something that you know you can’t get back?” She whispers, and those two familiar faces that never stray from my mind appear.

“Once or twice,” I manage to choke out, and she nods like she understands.

“And you’re okay?” Three simple words but not a simple question.

I take a deep breath, “No, not yet, but hopefully one day.” I think about the cocaine that is still alive in my veins and for the first time in months as I stare into her eyes I feel regret about taking it. Feel guilty for how I started my night in an attempt to tell myself I don’t want her. Such a dirty little liar. The mouth that wrapped around me earlier now burns like shame.

Her eyes drop to my lips and I have to clear my throat and step back before I let myself fall head first into her heartbreak. “Come on, let me take you home.” I nod to the car behind me and I see her hesitation before she voices it.

“Oh, no it's fine I can just call my dad.” She pulls her phone out as an added gesture but I give her a look that says don’t argue with me.

“Just get in the car, Red.” I walk back until I can swing the door open, and she looks between me and the blacked out SUV, and I know she knows my family are in there. “Come on, we both know waking up G-Dog the night before vacation is not a good idea,” I add, knowing it will sway her.

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