Page 51 of Pain and Possession

No fucking way.

"I know I'm just a kid now but I'm not dumb. I know what you do, I saw you and your friends coming in and out all the time. Tom used to talk, you're a powerful guy. Right? People pay you and you do stuff for them?"

"There are better things for you than this kid."

"No!" I flinch as Blake yells, getting to his feet. "I need to be stronger. I'm weak and I can't do anything! If you teach me-“

His voice breaks as he wipes his eyes. Noè stands his tall frame towering over Blake, "You are not weak. I heard the way you stood up for Olive. You acted like a man when you only should have had to act like a boy, thank you for that. I owe you, big time for protecting her."

"I… really?"

"It takes a brave person to stand up to someone, even when they scare them. My dad was scary too, I was eighteen before I was strong enough to do what you did and you're what? Seven?"

"I'm eight now.”

"You're impressive. I didn't have the balls- “

"Noè-“ I warn.

"I know what balls are Olive." Blake deadpans, earning him a grumble from his mom. I get to my feet, "Jesus Christ."

"Point is, you're tough. You'll be more tough when you believe that, but it's okay to not feel so tough some days. Happens to all of us, evengangsters. Got it?"

Blake beams up at Noè as he nods. Noè turns his attention to Marie the coldness seeping back through leaving no evidence of the warmth that was there before, "A word?"

I have no clue what they spoke about, but I can't help but be curious. Especially when Marie attempts to hug Noè tightly, her sobs filtering in through the kitchen as Blake and I push hot wheels through a Tupperware container of blue kinetic sand. I hate the butterflies that fill my stomach as he slips away from her touch. I hate that my pulse spikes when he comes back into the kitchen, his eyes glued to me like I'm going to disappear.

You did disappear and for good reason. Right?

I don't argue as he motions for me, I tousle Blake's hair, "You sure you're good?" He nods, quickly discarding the sand and wrapping his arms tightly around me. I hope things will be better now, that all this trauma, the pain of it all won't be for nothing. I hope it'll give him a fucking chance. As we exit the apartment Hock is leaned up against the banister watching two other men scrub the surrounding area with some strong-smelling chemicals.

"I wouldn't lean on that if I were you." His eyes go wide as he recoils off it as if it were a snake. I'm grateful for his help, for all their help. Of course, it was Noè that killed him, but Iwantedhim to. He was a loaded weapon, and I pulled the trigger.

"Damn girl, your eye looks like shit." Hock muses, crossing his arm before Noè slaps him in the back of the head, "Be respectful."

"What? I didn't mean it in a bad way, she knows she's h-“ He stops short, eyeing his boss- friend combo carefully as Noè steps closer to him, "She's what?"

I roll my eyes, the soreness nowhere near a tolerable level. Thankfully for me I have zero health insurance and a trip to a doctor costs more than I've had in my bank account all year, but I should be fine. Hock looks over his shoulder as he runs a hand through his dark short hair at one of the guys scrubbing the floor, "Oh you said you needed me?"

The guy looks up, frowning, "No?"

"No problem be right there." Hock answers, as he awkwardly excuses himself. Noè's hand finds the small of my back lighting my skin on fire as he directs me past them and into my apartment apparently content to ignore Hocks weak excuse to bail. As soon as the door shuts, I turn to Noè leveling him with my eyes. Or at least trying to, as I expected it has no effect. He only looks concerned and something else, something I haven't seen in those hazel eyes yet.

Guilt?

"I won't talk, and you don't have to worry about-“

He cuts me off, his hands grip my shoulders before he roughly pulls me into his arms. Holding me there tightly, I don't try to get away. Caught off guard by his actions and honestly, I don't want to. Noè's arms feel right pressed against my skin, no amount of lies can change that.

"I'm sorry."

What?

I try to pull away, but he keeps me there. Clinging to me like a lifeline, "You're sorry?"

"I let you get hurt; I should've been faster. Watched you closer. I rushed over the moment I realized you left. You've got to know Camilla means nothing to me little doll. She’s a manipulative miserable bitch that thinks I owe her something.” I scoff, Ihaveto know that. Really? This time as I struggle to pull away, he let's go only to capture my wrist as he pulls me towards my kitchen.

"Noè, I appreciate what you did for me, for Blake but we can't keep doing this. I don't want you." He pauses, only for a moment before he picks me up sitting me high on my counter like I weigh nothing at all. He continues to ignore my protests and threats as he fishes through my cabinets finding a clean rag before heading towards the ever-barren freezer.

---