Page 75 of Pain and Possession

"Even accidents have consequences Noè. What will Gio's consequence be? Or are you too much of a wimp?"

My eyes meet Gio's as my chest constricts. "Noè… I didn't mean to."

I know.

I don't hesitate as I bring back my foot kicking him hard in the ribs. He jerks over to his side as I kick him one, two, three more times. Each one feels like a dagger in my chest, "I'm sorry." I mumble under my breath as I reach out my hand helping him to his feet. He winces, breathing heavily but he just nods, tears in his eyes.

"Its cool. I'm gonna put my shit up." He doesn't look in my direction or father's. I clench my fists my anger driving that icy stare at my father, he hikes an eyebrow as I step towards him.

"Come on dude, let's see if Nona will make us something to eat." It's too close to dinnertime, he knows she won't. He's only trying to prevent me from doing something that I would regret. Something I would be punished for. I jerk my bike off the ground as I wheel it back towards the back of the compound.

I'm a shit friend.

I only get halfway through my morning lesson when father sends James down to tell me to meet him in his office. My heart throbs in my chest, Gio didn't show up for breakfast or for his lessons this morning. I know he's pissed at me. He barely said anything during dinner, I tried to apologize again but doing something like that in front of father would prove disastrous for everyone. Hock thinks he left the compound last night, blowing off steam. Father never really liked Gio, so I doubt we'll be allowed to look for him like we would Hock or another member of the family. Father says a boy like him isn't moldable, too set in stone to be useful. I roll my eyes when I enter the empty office.

Why tell me to meet you up here and not even show up?

A medium-sized box sits high on his desk, a strong smell in the air. A familiar smell. A smell I couldn't forget if I tried, it's burned into my nose and seeps from my skin. I take a slow step forward biting into my cheek to stop my hands from shaking. As I approach the box, the smell grows stronger. I reach out my fingers sliding beneath the flaps of the lid as I jerk them open.

Nothing.

I exhale a shaky breath as I steady myself on the edge of his desk. Kicking myself for being so fucking stupid, so weak. Who cares if he bailed? He's my best friend, my right hand. If I'm strong, he has to be strong. Not my fault he couldn't take it. I feel bad. I felt bad for kicking him. It wasn't my choice. I didn't fucking want to the asshole knew that. I jerk my hand towards the attached living quarters surprised to see the door shut. Father never uses this room, the only place he stays is upstairs.

My ever present frown deepens as I knock lightly, cleaning lady must've shut it. I take another deep breath as I sling the door open. That smell hitting me as my eyes find a wooden kitchen stool stood up in the middle of the large dim room. I heave, my breakfast splattering over the hardwood floor. I force my eyes back to the head placed on top of the stool, the blank glossy expression in Gio's eyes force more vomit from my mouth.

"Men do not apologize Noè."

I jump at the sound of my father's voice. Whirling around I pull back my fist ready to follow through before he catches it, jerking my wrist back but not painfully. No never painfully. He would never hurt me, and it makes me sick.

"I know he was your friend Noè, but this was a lesson best learned the hard way."

"Because he accidentally fucking knocked me down?!" I scream, rage coursing through my veins, spittle flying from my mouth. I don't question father. I listen, I learn, I obey. I'm his perfect fucking soldier. His perfect son. Strong son.

Why? Why punish me like this?

He scoffs as he shifts my weight using it against me as he forces me to bend my arms now pinned behind my back. I gag again as he pushes my face up close to Gio.

"This is because we caught him sneaking out last night. He tried to leave, abandon the family. Abandon you, I did you a favor." He kicks out, making my knee buckle forcing my face up against the head of my best friend.

"A boy like that could never help you lead." I don't dare take a breath until he releases me, a hint of regret in his eyes. I know it's not for Gio, it's for the way he's handled me. For being rough. Like that fucking matters.

He straightens his suit, "Clean it up. All of it."

It. His name was Giovanni. He had a fucking name.

I stare back at my father my chest raising and falling rapidly with my breath as my hands shake with the desire to hurt him. It's like I'm seeing him for the first time, truly seeing him for what he is. His eyes flash with emotion before its quickly scrubbed from his face, "You look so much like your mother when you stare at me that way."

Weak.

Chapter eighteen

Just Like Him

OliveTwoWeeksLater

I groan as the sounds of shuffling feet and talking filters past the two heavy locked doors separating us from the hallway. Noè's arms tighten around my stomach, and I can't help the small smile that spreads across my face despite the piss poor situation we're in. Marcus said stress isn't good for the baby, but how could I be anything but stressed? The past two weeks has been spent with me locked inside the compound apart from Frank's funeral even then his men were armed and clustered around us. I pull my arm that's threatening to fall asleep out from under my pillow and run my fingers over the hard edges of the gold chain around my neck. A gift from May for me and the baby. Frank wore it every day and I haven't taken it off since. I sobbed and begged for her forgiveness, knowing already had it. Knowing she would insist there was nothing to forgive.

She's wrong.

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