Page 74 of Pain and Possession

"Let it fall. All of it."

My own words surprise me, even then I don't take my eyes off Olive. The purple and yellow bruising on her eye, the thick bandage on her small neck. Her long wavy hair brushed and braided tightly to the side, something I spent most of the night doing and undoing.

"And what will there be left for her to wake up to when it falls? Chaos… a life in hiding because you've been murdered or arrested?"

I turn my attention from Olive, my mom's dull blue eyes seem paler in the harsh hospital lighting even with it dimmed.

"She's pregnant." It sounds flat despite how those words make me feel on the inside.

Her eyes widen before darting to Olive, a new lightness filling them, "All the more reason to fight then, don't you think?"

I nod, my hand tightening on Olive's, "If I go back, what's to stop me from massacring every one of them?" My words make her flinch. I can't make myself care about the information they have on the family. I'm not thinking about the consequences.

I'm out of control, I'm fucking weak.

At the warehouse I didn't think. Didn't stop to ask questions although we already know who is behind this. I wasn't incontrol.I shot everyone in sight and still didn't fucking get to her soon enough. I failed and I won't fucking do it again. Mom leaves me as she walks forward placing her hand gently on Olive's stomach, "There's so much more at risk now, you'll do the smart thing." She pauses, a tear slipping down her cheek, "I'm going to be a grandma."

I rise to a stand, my knees and back aching from the hours spent in unyielding hospital chairs, "I know she has class but please have Charlotte come sit with Olive. I don't want her to be alone when she wakes-“

"I'll stay." She interrupts, flashing me a weak smile her eyes still wet with tears. She exhales loudly the look on my face betraying my unease at the idea of her being here alone with Olive. Olive waking up scared, meeting eyes of someone just as scared of… well everything. Not by any fault of her own. A byproduct of being the target of abuse for over half your life, so much time has passed since that day. So many things have changed, and she's still just as scared of him.

A ghost.

A ghost that I resemble closely, "I'll only be gone for half an hour. Tops. If she wakes up call me immediately, there will be men at the doors."

"They'll be okay Noè. They're with family."

I lean down kissing Olive gently, the light scent of her moisturizer she uses still resting on her cheeks where I applied it earlier. Caring for her in the way I've ached to since I first met her. Since the night two strangers decided to die alongside one another. I hate that it's under these terms, I hate that the last time I saw those beautiful amber eyes they were filled with such fear… fear and pity.

Olive is mine. My entire world.

She was hurt, badly. Liner and Frank, both died trying to prevent that. I know it will eat at my sweet little doll, he meant so much to her. I've never cared much for the rules or decorum the people in my world abide by. One rule I have always been fond of is an eye for an eye. You step out of line, lash out and fail, you are in debt to the person you transgressed on. They are owed a debt.

I plan to collect in flesh.

Noè Age Thirteen

I jerk back on the handlebars of my bike, making the front wheel come up high off the ground as Gio and Ray- or Hock as father calls him watches closely, their bikes ready to follow. As soon as I pass, Gio kicks off too soon, the front tire of his bike crashing into mine sending me over the handlebars into the pavement. My chin scrapes across the ground the pain bringing that satisfying feeling I've grown accustomed to. My eyes dart to father, his large hand grips the back of mom's neck tightly preventing her from coming to my aid as I shove up off the floor.

Fuck that hurt.

Gio groans looking like he took a worse hit than me as Hock runs up to us, "Dudes you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Gio you alright?" He chuckles, nodding from where he lies on the pavement as he points to my chin. I can feel the blood dripping from the wound. I wipe at it quickly with my sleeve, being careful not to wince as the fabric tears against the deep scrape.

"Son, are you alright?" My pulse picks up as father speaks, his eyes cold and uncaring. A look I try hard to mimic.

"Yes, sir."

"And you're going to let that slide?"

Please don't.

Father scoffs as mom grips at his sleeve tightly trying to distract him, which just earns her another warning squeeze, but she doesn't stop. Feeling brave today or perhaps just realizing the same thing I am.

An eye for an eye.

"It was an accident." I press as I jerk up my bike. Gio doesn't move his eyes wide and trained on me. Gio and Hock have been my best friends since we took them in. Gio came only a year after Hock. They are my brothers, and when they are men, they'll be my arms and legs just like my uncles are for father.

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