Page 62 of Pain and Possession

I take a deep breath meeting her eyes, I barely noticed her scrutinizing gaze. So caught up in my own bullshit. Like always.

"What do I do?"

"You make the choice. Is this what you want? All of this, even the bits that churn your stomach. Walking on the line in between could cost him more than his spot at the head of the table." Her words sink into my bones, making my limbs feel brittle and weak as I lay my head down against the back of the chair.

"I've tried to leave before. Told him to leave me alone countless times."

She laughs, the warmness floating back into her face, "But did you ever really want him gone? If the answer is yes, this should be easy for you."

It's not and no I didn't.

"If I stay, will he get hurt? Because I have nothing to offer him?" I don't want her to answer. I really, really don't.

She makes another pass with the knitting needles before she answers. "Getting hurt is a part of this life. There will always be that risk, a chance he won't come home one night. You'll have to live with that, the same way we all do. It's a fact of life no matter where you are. But yes, you are a problem." I frown, annoyed that her saying that hurt as much as it did. Even if it is the truth.

"That being said, the ones that matter most won't mind the extra trouble. Tensions are high, he's doing his best to find a solution that doesn't result in burying more people he loves but he needs to be focused Olive. A cat can't protect itself from a rabid dog when it's distracted by a mouse."

Not sure if I should be offended by that.

I just nod, somehow even more exhausted than before. I gently remove my shoes, pulling my legs up in the chair as my mind spins.

"Olive don't pick at your nails it's awful for your cuticles." My head snaps up, having already forgotten I was doing it. I wrap my arms around my legs as she hums, the same beautiful tune Noè hums from time to time. Something about it comforting even in the off-tune way she does it, it feelssafe.It sounds like what a home should feel like.I should leave, go back to his room and wait for him there but I don't want to be alone. Give my brain more of an opportunity to create unrealistic worst-case scenarios in my head. I… I want him to come home, and I want him to hold me. I want to kiss him to make up for every time I pushed him away, even though I'm not sure I'm done doing that yet.

Chapter fourteen

Let Her Go

Noè

Mybootsfeelheaviercoming up the stairs than ever before, the exhaustion of the day- fuck of the past month setting deep within my soul. Lane was right her apartment was trashed. Nothing was taken, the Xbox I bought her sat smashed to hell on her bed, the mattress cut wide open just like the cushions on the couch. Everything was done deliberately, with a singular motive.

Intimidation.

I have a long list of enemies, but one name stands at the top of that list. A retaliation for being banned from the compound. Just the same as the pathetic attempt at provoking Olive with that message. Even though it had worked to an extent. Hell, even if it had permanently tarnished me in her eyes, I wouldn't touch Camilla if she were a bubbling spring, and my cock was on fire. There was no evidence left behind nothing as proof I could bring to the other heads. Same goes for my shipment, we know who took it. I couldn't care less about getting it back. Killing everyone involved at the dock tonight was more of a formality than anything. The idea of someone being inside her apartment… waiting for her. Touching her things. That is where she made a fatal mistake. One she will pay for in flesh. I clench my aching fists, my ears still ringing from the gunfire at the dock. I'm not blind to the unrest in my family, people think I can't do both. What's best for the family and keep her too. What they don't understand is that those two things are one in the same. Olive is my family

I will stop at nothing to protect my family. No line I won't cross, no life I won't end.

I pause in my office, the room only lit by the small lamp in the corner as I stare at the bullet hole behind my desk allowing myself a moment to be swallowed whole by my rage. A reminder of who I am, of what I'm capable of. I push open the bedroom door slowly, my heart lurching to my chest when I find my bed empty. It's nearly 3am, she wasn't anywhere on the way up. An irrational panic grips me, all of my earlier exhaustion forgotten as I tear from the room, barging into the empty hall. This is my home, my fucking stomping grounds she's safe. Logically I know that.

Then why are you scared? Because she makes you weak and you let her.

I bite down on my inner cheek; it takes me only moments to reach the fourth floor heading for Hock's room when I notice the open doors to the family room. I stop an uncomfortable feeling running down my spine as I head in.

I honestly can't remember the last time I saw this room. The pictures that hang here, in the same place they've always been. The same miserable people.

The uncomfortable feeling is soon replaced by her. The smell of her skin, the warm tingling sensation in my chest I've come to associate with her presence. Somehow the past few days she's had this… different air about her. She's always been stunning but her skin seems to glow brighter, her amber eyes have taken on a golden hue. My perfect little doll. I'm so caught up in her I nearly miss the fact that she's curled up in my father's old chair, one that we've all avoided like the plague long after his death. Still do, I'm sure. She looks too small snuggled up inside of it, one of Nona's hand knitted blankets draped over her. No doubt done so by the woman sleeping just as soundly on the couch, her knitting needles still attached to the blanket she's working on have tumbled down by her feet. The light blue and bright yellow a far cry from the typical colors she uses. I walk over lightly jostling her awake so she can head to bed.

"Thank you for staying with her." I say before kissing her forehead. She smiles up at me, leaning up to find her needles as I turn back to Olive. My arms itching with the need to hold her, to assure myself she's safe.

And mine.

She doesn't budge as I lift her from the chair. Only ever so slightly adjusts in my arms so that she's snuggled into me. My heart stills as she grips the fabric of my shirt tightly, inhaling deeply as she clings to me. I don't know how long I stand there staring at her. Or how long it takes for my heart to beat again, all I know is after that night at my bar… Every beat of my heart has been for her and her alone.

"Noè…"

I reluctantly turn my attention from Olive, a stupid smile on my face despite the absolute chaos my life is in. The look on Nona's face makes me clench her just a little tighter to me, making her murmur in protest.

"If she wants to go, let her." I tense, as if she's going to be ripped from my arms. I don't know why it feels that way. The idea of her leaving… the idea of letting her go…

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