Page 10 of Just Date and See

‘And this… this is a Chinese banquet for four.’

She places the white paper bag on the worktop and starts unloading containers.

I glance at my empty dinner plate.

‘You should have said you were coming,’ Mum tells her. ‘I would have made you some extra, without peas.’

‘Well, I brought Chinese for everyone,’ she exclaims proudly.

‘You should have called, to say you were coming,’ I point out gently.

‘Oh, okay, fine, if you don’t want any Chinese…’

Jess wraps her arms around the containers set out on the worktop in front of her and pulls them closer to her. As she does this, she grins, like she knows me too well.

‘Well, obviously I’m going to have some,’ I reply through a laugh. ‘Second dinner is practically a tradition in this family.’

Second dinner is a bit of an in-joke we have. It stems from Jess’s fussy eating habits and how, when we would have to go somewhere where we didn’t like the food, like a particular restaurant or a family event, Mum would bribe us into eating a little bit, or at least pretending to, by saying she would make us something special when we got home.

‘Shit, I always forget how many cupboards you have,’ Jess exclaims as she starts opening and inadvertently slamming doors (which is quite the feat for a soft-close cupboard) in her search for plates.

I wade through the mess in the kitchen, where Jess is causing even more chaos, to grab some plates and help her serve up all the Chinese food she’s brought.

As we all sit back down at the table together, Jess tucks in, like it’s the first thing she’s eaten in days.

‘Armie never let me eat Chinese food,’ she says through a mouthful of noodles. ‘He said if we got fat before we were thirty, that would be it. We also had to keep a chocolate-free house, so that he could avoid temptation, but that just made me sneak it all the more. I was putting it away on the sly left, right and centre, I’ve put like half a stone on, but it’s gone straight to my chest, look.’

Jess grabs her boobs in her hands and sort of pushes them together. In doing so, she gets sweet and sour sauce on her top. She shrugs it off.

‘It sounds to me like you’re better off without him,’ Mum says. ‘I’ve always thought that, although I never would have said anything. It was the same with Dec—’

‘Erm, let me stop you there,’ I interrupt her.

‘You’re not seriously going to try and defend Declan?’ Jess asks in disbelief.

‘It’s not a competition,’ I point out. ‘And if it were, I’m not sure if you would win by having the best or worst ex, but that’s not what I’m getting at. Mum and I were just chatting and we agreed this is going to be a man-free Christmas. Even the mention of exes is strictly prohibited.’

‘That’s cool, I can sign off on that,’ she replies. ‘Well, if it’s chill, I thought I’d stay until the new year.’

A quiet Christmas is slipping slowly away from me. With just Mum, I still stood a chance of something close to quiet, but Jess is going to complicate things. But she’s my sister, and I love her, and it’s Christmas. It will be nice to spend some time together.

‘I don’t know if this sweetens the deal at all, but I let someone swap me some gift vouchers for that boujee farm shop for a wreath, so the food shopping is on me,’ she adds, spreading her arms out in a ta-da kind of way. ‘Unless you’ve already done it?’

‘We thought we’d go in the morning,’ I reply.

‘Oh, it will be so fun, the three of us shopping for Christmas together. Like the good old days, after your da…’ Mum stops herself in her tracks. ‘Before the two of you left home.’

I smile at her for changing course.

None of the plates are clear, but we’ve all definitely had enough.

‘Cuppa tea?’ Mum suggests.

‘Maybe something sweet?’ Jess chimes in.

I suppose there’s always room for something sweet.

‘Are you sure I can’t help tidy?’ Mum asks.

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