Page 62 of The Heart of a Villain

“There must be a difference between you and those who just kill anyone they meet.” Granted, I don’t condone their actions. To me, a person displays their strength when no matter their past they can move on and live a happy life, showing one giant middle finger to all the abusers.

Despite how he words it, such cases where people turn evil from their experiences are the minority.

He shrugs. “Yeah. The difference is that we control our emotions and demons, but we still need to feed them all the same.”

Clutching the jackets tighter, my knuckles turning white, I gulp for breath, but it seems I’m permanently experiencing a lack of oxygen after the damn video.

I know what he’s doing right now. He doesn’t want me to live in another illusion. Killing bad people still makes them all murderers.

“Your father has a favorite phrase.”

I wrack my mind for what he might mean but come up blank.

“Goodness and evilness lie in the eye of the beholder.” He plays with the bottle, leaning backward even more so the rain now falls on his shoulders while he inhales the rich smell of the wet ground along with the ocean breeze. “Our emotions, values, and morals dictate what we consider right or wrong. And depending on them, we make our choices. What some find horrendous, we might find acceptable. And what others find acceptable, we despise with all our being.”

What can I say to all this?

“Laws. There are laws, right?”

With all their resources, why couldn’t my father just catch all these sick people and dump them on the police? This probably makes me a bad person, but I don’t feel sorry for all those assholes.

Studying for my degree, I’ve seen firsthand what the bastards are capable of doing to people, so the world is a better place without them in it.

Still not enough of a reason to commit such crimes and soak in sins and gore.

“Yeah, the system doesn’t always work well. Besides, they don’t have the means to catch everyone. I’d say it’s a team effort.” He chuckles. “Although, lately, that’s what I do.” A beat passes, and he explains further, “Torturing all my victims sure brings all the fun, but then I get bored. And the idea of them not really suffering their whole existence for their deeds stopped being appealing. So I changed my tactics.”

This feels surreal to me, discussing all this, but I still push the words out. “Tactics. As in your modus operandi?” Internally, I tense, fisting the jacket so hard while preparing myself for some gross details he’s about to dish out to me.

“Well, not really. I still do whatever the fuck I want with them. However, I don’t kill them, so they can face the consequences of their crimes. Death is an easy way out.”

The information gives me comfort somehow, which is insane in itself. “Yet my father doesn’t think so,” I whisper, sadness coating my voice that he doesn’t miss.

“Your father lived through hell on earth. Even my past is nothing compared to his. And trust me, princess, my past was very shitty.”

My heart pangs painfully at the implication, remembering how Dad’s face always becomes guarded whenever we ask about his life before he met Mom.

No pictures, no fun stories or relatives we could meet.

And his hatred toward everything church-related, it’s a wonder he allowed us to celebrate Christmas.

“So you’re justifying his actions?”

“Hardly. Lachlan doesn’t believe in second chances. He prefers to kill them all so there is no chance they will ever get the opportunity to hurt anyone ever again.”

I rub my chest, sighing heavily while the hurt still spreads through me, but the fire burning in the pit of my stomach is less deadly.

My God.

Am I really starting to think it’s okay what they do?

Oddly, though, the truth brings my restless mind peace, as during the years I always wondered about all the secrets, my curiosity weeping from never finding answers.

“My mother knows, right?” I mean, that would explain all her talks about loving someone or something the world doesn’t understand.

“All the wives know.”

Is that love? Accepting the man with all his flaws? Or accepting flaw that you can live with?

---