Page 67 of Every Star that Shines

She searched for the words. She knew he meant what he said. But she also knew to the depths of her soul that she wasn’t worth the price he was willing to pay. He would come to see that eventually. She swallowed, sucking some moisture back into her sandpaper tongue.

“I’m saying I can’t. I can’t let you do this. Not for me.” She swallowed her doubt. “I’m saying no.”

He stared back at her for a long moment, his nostrils flared and his jaw working. “So you were lying at the coffee shop, then. This wasn’t about my choices at all. It’s about yours. It’s always been about yours. Well, you know what?” He stood, his hands clenched. “I’m done trying to figure out your rules, Delanie. You keep changing them. You want someone to give you the moon, but when they do, you say you can’t accept it.”

Delanie stared at him with tears streaming down her cheeks, his words like lashes on her soul. Especially since she knew she deserved every one. “I’m sorry, Caleb.”

He jerked his gaze away. “I’m sure you are. But you know what I think?” His eyes pierced her, his amber irises as dark as molasses. “I think you’re so stuck on your plan, you’re too scared to make room in it for anyone who might love you.” His shoulders slumped. “Bye, Delanie. I hope you find your happiness.”

Before she could think of something to say in return, the door slammed behind him.

She pushed herself back on the bed and pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as she sobbed. She wished the bed would eat her whole, that it would hide her from the truth in his words. You’re too stuck on your plan to make room for anyone who might love you.

Was he right about her? Was the real reason she had turned him down because she was afraid? Afraid of making room in her plan for love? She crawled beneath the covers and stared wide-eyed up at the ceiling. She tossed and turned until just before dawn, when she finally crawled out of bed to get ready for work.

All through the sleepless night, she still hadn’t managed to convince her shattered heart that she had done the right thing.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Delanie dragged herself through her motel room door, exhaustion permeating every bone in her body. It had been another long day on set—and it was only the second one. She felt like she had worked for sixteen hours instead of only twelve.

She was used to long hard days, and they didn’t usually bother her. Maybe it was the fresh air—many of her scenes were shot outdoors. Even though temperatures here were still in the warm mid-teens during the day, it wasn’t the same as working in a studio, or even outdoors in the mild, lush Lower Mainland. Yes, it was probably the exertion and fresh air draining her. Not the perpetual dull ache in her chest.

She had barely had time to change into lounge pants and put on her slippers—the ragged pink bunnies she’d brought from her parents’—turn on the TV, and settle on the small couch with her next day’s script pages in hand when someone knocked on her door. She got up and peeked through the window. Josh stood on her doorstep, looking around with his hands on his hips. Despite his day having been just as long as hers, he looked as though he had just stepped out of the shower, trendy-casual in a jean jacket, white T-shirt, and jeans over a body he obviously found time to train at the gym on a regular basis. Rolling her eyes, she went and opened the door.

“Hey, Josh. Is there something we need to talk about?”

He rubbed his nose. “You could say that. I was hoping I could take you to dinner to discuss it.”

She cringed internally. Going out again was the last thing she wanted to do right now. Especially with Josh. “Is it urgent? We could talk about it at work tomorrow.”

He looked over her I’m-staying-in attire. “We could order in, I suppose.”

The thought of inviting Josh into her space, such as it may be, made her skin crawl. She hesitated, then shook her head. “No, I need to eat anyway. Give me five minutes.”

He grinned and took a step toward the door. “Okay. I’ll—”

She closed the door before he could push his way inside. Taking hints was not Josh Rosenburg’s strong suit.

Four minutes later, wearing jeans and a blouse and with her hair brushed, she opened the driver’s door of her car, which was right beside Josh’s.

He rolled down his passenger window and leaned over. “Hop in with me.”

She leaned down to look in the window. “No, I’ll follow you. Where are we going?”

He blinked, then named a restaurant.

“See you there,” she said, and got into her vehicle.

She closed her door and started her car before he could object further. Looking back at him, she saw him give her a long look before he shrugged, rolled up his window, and reversed out of his space.

The restaurant he had chosen was trendy and modern, and they were seated at a small table in the corner, not too close to anyone else. She would have preferred something a little more out in the open, but the hostess probably thought they were on a date. She hoped Josh didn’t think that too.

Caleb would love this place. She pushed the thought aside, blinking back the moisture that threatened to spill from her eyes. She had given up the right to think about what Caleb would love. She would have to get used to it.

After they placed their order, Josh leaned back in his chair with a grin on his face—the one she used to think was charming and sexy, but which now struck her as a little arrogant and smug. What had she ever seen in this guy?

“So, how did things go in Hicksville?” he asked. “Your aunt died, right?”

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